The Ways To Annoy Snape
by I am Katniss Everdeen
Summary: It's Hermione's final year and she wants to let loose and have fun, so obviously the best way is to annoy the crap out of Professor Snape! Will he crack and murder her, or will something special develop between them OOC, AU, M for a reason! ENJOY!
1. Chapter 1

The war had ended, and everyone who wished to attend Hogwarts again was back. That included me, Hermione, Harry, and Ron. The, so-called "Golden Trio", and our "trusty allies", Ginny Weasley, Neville Longbottom, Luna Lovegood, and surprisingly, Blaise Zabini and Draco Malfoy. Somehow we'd all formed an alliance without killing one another, but then we found Harry snogging Draco, and found out Blaise's secret love for Ginny by me, because I read his diary, or journal, as he so puts it. Now, my love life was confusing as crap, at the very least. I didn't feel attracted to Ron, Harry, Blaise, or even Draco! However, I knew for a fact that I was NOT lesbian; I just hadn't found the right guy to go out with. Meanwhile, Luna was dating Neville, and Ron was currently involved with Lavender Brown after a nasty fight with moi. First, Ron said that I studied too much and should spend more time with him. Second, he insulted my clothes, saying that I never wore anything nice. In short, he wanted me to look like a slag, a whore. I then proceeded to tell him that he was a pig and so, out of spite, he decided to start shagging Lavender so that he could brag to me, and therefore I left him. You see, we just used to be a couple, but that betrayal left a chasm both in our relationship, and our friendship as well.

Whatever, I thought. Now that the war with Voldy was over, I knew what to do. I've been wanting this forever. I'm going to do what no Hogwarts Student has done before. I'm going to annoy the crap out of Professor Snape, my Potions Professor. Now that we had some bloody awesome teachers here like Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, and Tonks, I think this school year would be great; as long as I didn't push him too far and cause him to kill me.

"So, what do you guys think?" I asked my friends. All of their eyes were wide and their mouths were open.

"Hermione, are you bloody mental? I mean, this is Snape!" I sighed, not expecting Ron to have been the first one to answer me; I thought he'd be snogging with his whore, I rolled my eyes.

"I'm perfectly sure, Ron! Gosh, now I'm late!" I gave an irritated sigh.

"Late for what?" Asked Draco. I narrowed my eyes playfully at him.

"Wouldn't you like to know? No, I'm kidding. I have to be at the Apprentice meeting with Professor Snape." Draco, sitting on Harry's lap, abruptly stood up.

"In that outfit? I don't think so!" I looked down at my Gryffindor tie, shirt, and skirt.

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?"

"Uh, what isn't?" Harry butted in. "If you want to annoy Snape, you're gonna have to do something bad!"

"Bad, like what?" I was starting to feel scared at what they were suggesting.

"Here," Draco said, pulling off his tie and leaping off of Harry's lap to rip off mine and place his around my neck. Then he went over to Blaise, who currently had his arm around Ginny's shoulders and took off his tie, wrapping it around my waist. "There, now you're almost ready!" I groaned. What else do they want me to wear? Draco took out his wand and shortened my knee-length skirt four inches.

"Perfect! Wait, Draco, tighten her shirt just a bit!" Harry said. Draco complied. I felt like a fucking doll.

"I'm leaving before you try to give me platform shoes." I grumbled and walked out of the Gryffindor Common Room.

"Miss Granger, you are late. I dislike tardin- What the hell are you wearing?" I roll my eyes at his language and say with pride,

"I'm wearing my school uniform, what else does it look like?" I stare at him like he's the dumbest person I've ever seen in my entire life. His face reddens with anger.

"Miss Granger! I'm not stupid! You aren't in Slytherin, your skirt is too short, and your shirt is way too tight for it to be from Hogwarts!" I glare at him.

"Well, maybe I was with Draco and Blaise, maybe I grew a few inches, and MAYBE I now have bigger boobs! Did you think about that?" If you could have seen Professor Snape's face, you'll know why I laughed so hard at that moment. My stomach hurt by the time I was done laughing, and his face was beet red; he looked like he was about to bust a blood vessel.

"MISS GRANGER!" He roared. I looked up innocently at him.

"Yes?"

"Never again will you mention something so atrocious in my presence. Now, I need you to make some Dreamless Sleep and Blood Replenishing Potion."

"Why can't you just do it?" I asked him with a tone far too polite. He sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Detention tomorrow with me, Granger for disrespecting your elder. And I have an appointment- not that I should even be telling you this." I could barely control my curiosity, so I asked him what it was for. He didn't answer for a while.

"Because of my neck, Miss Granger." Oops, I had almost forgotten. I remembered watching my Professor nearly dying in the Shrieking Shack, knowing if I didn't work fast enough, he'd surely be dead. All I really had to do was get the poison out of his system and keep it from reaching his heart, then force a Bezoar Stone down his throat. He didn't seem very grateful.

"Oh, right sir." I got the ingredients together and began to softly sing, "I know the song that never ends, and it just goes on and on, my friends. Someone started singing it not knowing what it was. And I'll continue singing it forever just because…. I know that song that never ends, it just goes on and on, my friends. Someone started singing it now knowing what it was. And I'll continue singing it forever just because…." I decided to make up a version of my own. Singing a bit louder I said, "I'm the song that never ends; I get inside your head. You'll never forget me because I'm so cool. And if you try to stop singing me, then you are such a fool! 'Cause I'm the song that never ends, I'm the song that never ends, I'm the song that never ends and I'm amazing. Because I'm the best song ever, and there's no way to make an endeavour to leave me out of your mind, no never! Yes, I'm the song that never ends, I'm the song that never ends, I'm the song that never ends, oh, yes I am!"

"Miss Granger! Will you shut that ungodly mouth of yours? I still have two more hours until I have to leave, so shut it!" I scoff.

"Then why don't you grab a cauldron and bloody help me brew?" He grumbled a response, but began brewing.

"I know a song that's super cool, super cool, super cool. I know the song that's super cool and it goes like this…. La-la-la. La-la-la. La-la-la. La-la-la. TONIGHT, TONIGHT, THERE'S A PARTY ON THE ROOF TOP ON TOP OF THE WORLD! TONIGHT, TONIGHT, AND WE'RE DANCIN' ON THE EDGE OF THE SUN!" I screamed, making Professor Snape jump and drop something into the potion that he shouldn't have and causing the potion to explode, covering both of us in pink goo. I looked at him and burst out laughing. His hair had turned pink! PINK! Then I realized what this may have done to my hair and I took out a mirror, but all that happened was a couple of streaks on every other curl. It was a bit much, but I realized that I could totally rock this look, I mean, come on, I'm Hermione Granger!

"Miss Granger!" Snape roared, getting angrier and angrier by the second. I whimpered as he cornered me. "Turn my hair back to normal!"

"I can't!" I exclaimed. I really could, but I just didn't want to; I wanted everyone to see him tomorrow. I'd change his hair back as soon as I wanted to.

"Dammit!" I heard him yell, and looked at him. I then pointed to him and screamed,

"Professor, you said a BAD WORD!" He growled at me and I screamed again, running out of his classroom, while screaming, "PROFESSOR SAID A BAD WORD, PROFESSOR SAID A BAD WORD!"

"Hermione, what is this entire ruckus about?" I looked behind me and saw Sirius and a grinning Remus. I let them both in on my little "idea of the year" and they both laughed.

"Well, we ARE the Marauders, so if you need help, just ask." Sirius said, winking at me. I gave him my most charming smile and hugged both of them, then ran off, laughing as I did. Phase 1 of Mission Annoy Snape- Complete.

"You did what, 'Mione? Are you suicidal or something?" Harry questioned me. I shook my head and laughed even harder, remembering what I was going to do to him tomorrow in class. It would take a lot of guts, yes, but I'm Hermione Bloody Granger! I can do anything!

"I'm not suicidal, I just wanna have fun this year. Besides, it's not like I'm going to prank McGonagall or Dumbledore. Just Snape! I even made a list!" I gave them all a proud look and lifted my chin in the air, showing them the list.

WAYS TO ANNOY SNAPE THIS YEAR

Turn his hair pink.

Sing him one of the most annoying songs you possibly can.

Give Professor Snape a big, fluffy bunny tail.

Tell him you've lost your pet werewolf and need help finding him.

Scatter rose petals wherever he goes.

Sneak up behind him and scream, "You're robes are on fire!"

Hug him. Say that Dumbledore made me.

Shout, "Ten points from house of Snape!"

Get an owl. Name it after him.

Make a Voodoo doll of Harry. Give it to him.

Call him Buzz at random moments.

Tell him Draco is in love with me.

Become the "Good Snape" and the "Bad Snape", peeking over his shoulders depending on which one I am.

Give him invitations to Sirius's Birthday party at the Whomping Willow.

Say, "Need a brush over there, Professor?"

Follow him closely through the hallways. Imitate his stern look and determined walk. If he turns around, stand still and smile sweetly.

Leave copies of Lockhart's biography all around the place.

Transfigure a jack-in-the box's head to look like him. Wind it up and leave it outside his door. Run like hell.

Get a hose. Corner him. Spray him down. Run.

Doodle things on your potions notes about 'that cute Longbottom kid.

Get a tattoo. One that says 'Sevvie' Insist it has nothing to do with him.

Dress like him and dye hair black. Refer to self as 'mini-Snape'

Ask him what his middle name is.

When he leans down to inspect your work - Grab your wand, place the tip of it directly between his eyes and shout 'Lumos!'

Nickname your quill 'Snapie' and talk to it during class.

Get your potion horribly wrong. Smile when he berates you and ask if that deserves a detention.

Get your potion all over him. Smile when he splutters incoherently with anger and ask if THAT deserves a detention.

Imply that you think Professor Lupin was the only deserving applicant for the Dark Arts job.

Refer to him as 'Cuddles'

Ask him why he saved Harry Potter. Ask him every day.

When he glares, give a similar glare back and when he looks away, shout, "I won!"

Wink at him every time he looks my way.

Present him with a pet baby bunny rabbit every few weeks. Tell him each one is called Minerva.

Ask him if he's ticklish. Tell him if he lies 'I'll know'.

Ask him if he fears the sunlight, or is he just naturally pale.

"Uh-huh, Hermione, sure, just go on and believe what you want, but I still think you're suicidal," Harry said before straddling Draco's lap and snogging him. I groaned and shielded my eyes.

"Get a fucking room!" Draco gave me a look.

"I'm sure you wouldn't do that if it was you and Severus snogging!" He accused me. I gasped and glared at him. Then I slowly walked up to him.

"Excuse me, young man? What did you just say to me?" He looked reasonably terrified.

"Well, Hermione, for one, I'm older than you by almost an entire year. Two, I was just trying to be honest, so don't freak out over the truth. And three, I wouldn't even care if you were making out with him, I'd be happy for the both of you! Hugs?" He held out his arms to me and I laughed, embracing him before kissing him and Harry on the forehead because I was going to bed.

"G'night Kids!" I shouted, running to my room to get changed and in bed.

"Wait, what was that about a Voodoo doll of me? Hermione!"

The next morning, I jumped out of my Head Girl bed, feeling refreshed and happy. I walked down to breakfast, and decided to try out one of my pranks. I pointed my wand at him, whispering the charm for a fluffy, big bunny tail. Snape had no clue that every kid was laughing at him, though. I pointed at him, laughing and yelled,

"Look at Sevvie's tail!" The entire Great Hall was silent, staring at me in shock. The 7th and 6th years looked amused, 5th years looked confused, 4th years looked like they were trying to be cool, the 1st, 2nd, 3rd years looked terrified of me and Snape. He walked up to me and put his big, hooked nose in my face.

"What did you just call me?" He looked threatening, but I refused to let him scare me, so I gave the tip of his nose a small pinch and said,

"Got your nose!" The Muggleborn kids and Half-Bloods recognized it as the make-believe game that their parent or parents used to play with them. Snape looked at me with shock and then anger.

"Miss GRANGER!" He roared. I laughed and then grabbed Draco's hand and we both sprinted out with Harry behind us to attend Transfiguration.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys, I'm back! I just wanted to say thank you to linnie31, SakuraBlossom58, OneandOnlyBeckster, The Half-Duck Princess, alexma, MoonShadowAMR, and ReadingIsSexy15 for adding this story to your favourites! I also wanted to give a little shout out to articcat621, Cosmogirl666, loukritia, Minyonette, Raliie, The Half-Duck Princess, discworldgirl22, xxHeartless Girlxx, SakuraBlosson58, sleeplessinseattle, Swan out of the lake, and ReadingIsSexy15 for adding this story to your story alert, so thank you! Also, thanks to those who reviewed, I love them! P.S, if you have an account, log into it that way I can sent you a private message for your reviews! Here goes the second chapter of The Ways To Annoy Snape!**

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"Hermione, what possessed you to tell Professor Snape that you 'had his nose'?" Harry asked me, with an arm slung around Draco and me. I shrug and said that I did it to see if it would irritate him.

"Well, darling, it certainly worked! I've never seen him so angry… and one time I stole one of his robes, cut it up, put it on, and said that I was Mistress Snape!" Draco exclaimed while Harry and I gave him a funny stare. "What? I was seeing if he'd say something mean." I rolled my eyes.

"Well, I now have detention with Snape, so I need to change and get going," I groaned with annoyance. Who knew what Snape would have me do?

"Well, Hermione, I have detention from McGonagall, but it's with Snape, too, so I'll get changed and we'll go together!" I laugh at Draco's girliness. When I get to my and Draco's Head Girl and Boy rooms, we split up into separate rooms.

When I get into my rooms, I look for the adorable, leather gloves with no fingers and small chains, and put them on. Then, I try to find some bright green converse, the ones with the silver lacing. I find them and giggle, thinking of how much this is going to piss Snape off. I set the shoes aside, take off my skirt, throw it on my bed, and sift through my clothes for the pair of black skinny jeans with the sides cut out and ripped knees that I bought while on vacation in the USA. I shuddered, remembering how dirty and loud it was. Nothing like London, but still memorable. The odours in America, though, still haunted my soul till this day. London was still my favourite Muggle place to be, though. My eyes landed on a black object; my jeans! I nearly run to them and put them on, relishing in the soft feel of them. I thought of what I could wear for a shirt and then remembered the green T-shirt with silver lines on it and rummaged through my closet, trying to find it, but came upon something better; it was one of Draco's old Slytherin shirts. I squealed with excitement and put it on over my green bra. The shirt made it kind of visible, but oh well, I had a plan, and it involved Draco. I walked out of my room to find that Draco was still changing, so I banged on his door and yelled,

"Draco, get your smarmy arse out here!" The door opens to reveal Draco with a bright red shirt that showed off his abs along with my Gryffindor bracelet and dog tag necklace, along with a pair of tight jeans that I told him showed off his rock-hard ass; he must have agreed.

"Dang, 'Mione, you look great- wait, is that my shirt?" I nod and point to his accessories, as if to say that he can't really judge.

"Draco, love the shirt! It's like you're trying to be in Gryffindor and I'm trying to be a Slytherin." I joked. "Now, I have a plan to piss Snape off, but you have to follow my lead, okay?" He nodded. "Okay, lets go." We walked to Snape's classroom and I knocked on the door, trying to sound threatening, but all we heard was a tired, "Enter". I walked in with my hands on Draco's wrists as if I owned him. He took one look at us, did a double take, and then shook his head in disgust.

"Snape, what do you want me to do with- Oh, hey kids!" I waved cheerfully to Remus and gave him the sign to put our plan in order. I had called him last night and told him what to do. "Well, guys, it seems as though Sour Grapes Snape is in a bad mood, but what else can you expect from a Butt-Trumpet?" Snape looked at Remus with shock and then fury.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME, LUPIN?" He roared. Remus responded back cheerfully,

"I was just telling you the nicknames that James and Sirius made up for you!"

"Get out!" Snape yelled pointing for the door. Remus left, but Sirius soon showed back up right in the middle of Snape telling us that we needed to put the potions in the cupboards in alphabetical order. Sirius grinned, I had told him what to do last night, too. "What do you want, Black?"

"You going racist on me, Snape?" Sirius looked offended. Snape glared at him.

"Oh, why of course not!" He said sarcastically. Sirius crossed his arms, and then walked over to me, placing his arm around my shoulder and whispered to me loud enough for Snape to hear,

"Don't let Ole Sour Grapes get to you, Hermione. He's just being a Butt-Trumpet!" I let out a huge laugh and held onto Draco and Sirius for support while Snape glared at me.

"Both of you, into the cupboard!" I winked at him and grabbed Draco. "C'mon, Drakie-Poo, I think we've finally found a good make-out place!"

"Oh, yay, my beautiful darling!" He exclaimed, skipping into the storage cupboard.

"Leave the bloody door wide open, you imbeciles!" I peeked out of the closet.

"Aw, is Buzz getting jealous? Or maybe scared of what I'm going to do to Drakie-kins?" Snape's face nearly turned purple, and I laughed, pulling out my wand and casting the charm to make all of the potions bottles back into alphabetical order. We both sat down, me in his lap.

"Hey, Hermione?" I turned around to look at him.

"Yeah?" Draco stared at me with solemn, grey eyes.

"Are you ticklish?" I shook my head in confusion. What?

"Wait, what? O-of course not!" I'm a terrible liar, and Draco knew it. He grinned an awful grin and attacked me with his fingers, tickling me until I screamed in laughter, and we toppled down, him on top of me, and me stomach-down on the cold floor. He was still tickling me, and I was still laughing my ass off, but then we heard an amused, "Ahem," and looked up at a seething Snape and a grinning Sirius, who knew about Draco's erm, sexual preference and knew that we were doing this to annoy Snape. Snape, however, didn't know that, and was about to blow.

"Why, hello, Professor! Fancy seeing you here, huh?" I said in an extremely happy voice, with Draco still on top of me, except now he had both legs on either side of me while Sirius tried not to burst out laughing; he succeeded.

"Mister Malfoy, would you please get off of Miss Granger and cease to ride her as if she was a horse?" I almost cracked up, but somehow didn't and watched as Draco got off of me and helped me up off of the floor, albeit blushing.

"Miss Granger, another detention with me tomorrow, and Mister Malfoy, detention with Filch since you can't seem to follow the hands-off policy." The Potions Master sneered. I whispered and apology to Draco, which he accepted, and we walked over to Sirius, because Snape had a less chance of hurting us if we were with the Sex-Ed professor. Yes, Hogwarts did indeed have a Sex-Ed now, and Sirius wanted to teach it because he'd make the boys uncomfortable and the girls swoon. I don't know if many have noticed it, but Sirius is kind of hot. I gave him my "fake flirting" look and snuggled up to him, watching Snape the entire time. I then spoke up and said,

"Need a brush over there, sir?" Snape narrowed his eyes at me and spoke with a deadly tone,

"No, Miss Granger, but I'm pretty sure you do." With a panic I felt my hair, and realized that it was back to its bushy-curly mess. I groaned and grabbed my wand, aimed it at my head and cast the smoothing charm. I then felt my hair again, but it was twice as bushy! I widened my eyes and screamed at the top of my lungs, probably shattering Poor Old Draco's eardrums.

"Draco! MY HAIR IS BUSHY! IT'S BUSHY!" I was grabbing his collar, shaking him, and holding him tightly against me for support all at the same time.

"Shh, sweetie, it's okay! When we get back to that- uh, _room_ we _both share_, I'll fix your hair, okay?" I smothered a grin and nodded, hugging both him and Sirius at the same time. Sirius put his mouth to my ear.

"You're such a liar," he whispered so that only I could hear. I giggled and nodded. Snape, disgusted by all of this, told us to all get a room and he went into his office after demanding that we all take our leave before we sex each other up in front of him. My cheeks coloured with embarrassment and I walked out with Sirius and Draco in tow. When we left, we all burst out laughing till tears ran down our faces.

"Did you see his face when you two found me and Draco?" I laughed.

"Oh, my gods, where's Creevy when you need him?" Draco replied, wiping a tear from his eye while Sirius tried to get his breath back.

"Hermione, that's one of the very best ideas you have ever come up with to prank Snivvelus!" Sirius crowed. I agreed, but I really didn't like that name. It was mean. After our laughing fit, Sirius went to retire to his rooms and Draco dragged me to mine, plopping me down in a chair while he figured out my hair. Eventually, it was back to its normal, curly, shiny self and I was happy again. I gave him a kiss on the cheek and thanked him for everything, then hugged him goodnight and went to bed. Tomorrow was going to be hilarious.

I felt happy and anticipated when I woke up. Today, I was going to really annoy Snape, maybe I'd even get kicked out of his class! I skipped to his class seconds before the bell rang, winking and yelling, "Honey, I'm here!" Snape nearly had a heart attack, but I just laughed.

"Miss Granger, take your seat!" I look at him innocently.

"Did that deserve detention?" I ask him with wide eyes. Snape's face turns bright red before he says,

"What, do you want detention? Because, Gods forbid I keep you from detention!" I refuse to be beat by the Master of Snark, so I fire back,

"I refuse to be swayed by your sweet words of temptation!" I fist pump in the air before taking out a Muggle condom and tossing it at Draco, winking at him and then Harry saying, "You might need that later, dear!" The Muggleborns roared with laughter, even some of the half-bloods cracked a smile. Snape went to his desk, sat down, and buried his head in his hands, I saw that his shoulders were shaking and I worried that I caused him to either start crying or have a seizure from all the stress I was giving him. I immediately went with the latter. Snape crying was a phenomenon; barely anyone's seem it. Rumour has it that even his own parents never heard him cry. Even when he was a baby! I heard that a Dementor kissed him… and IT died! There have been reports of female bats leaving his rooms, as well, so I suppose that he's been getting it on in his bat form or something. Perhaps he has an Animagi and maybe it's a bat? I'd have to ask him. I raised my hand in the air while he was giving instructions.

"What do you want, Miss Granger? I'm trying to teach!"

"Yeah, but most don't want to hear you!" I shot back, grinning while some of the kids in the back went, "OOOHHHHHHH!"

"What is it that you wanted to ask me, Miss Granger?" He looked really stressed out; it made me feel successful.

"Do you have an Animagi?"

"Yes, Miss Granger. Now, class-"

"Is it an overgrown bat?" I asked him boldly. A vein began pulsing in his neck.

"MISS GRANGER! DETENTION, AND GET THE HELL OUT OF MY CLASSROOM AT ONCE!" I covered my mouth in mock shock and screamed for the second time that week,

"PROFESSOR SNAPE SAID A BAD WORD! PROFESSOR SNAPE SAID A BAD WORD!" When Snape finally spoke, it was deathly calm.

"Miss Granger. You have ten seconds to walk out of my classroom before I throw you out myself. With my bare hands." Well… that would actually be fun…. "Ten…"

"But, sir, isn't that PDA?"

"Nine…."

"You'd like touching me, wouldn't you?" I winked at him and slowly walked out of his room as soon as he said the number one. The door then slammed behind me and I laughed so hard, tears ran down my cheeks. For the first time ever, I'd just been kicked out of a lesson. It felt…. Great! Now, all I need is for him to get so angry that he hexes me, and then Remus, Sirius, Harry, Draco, and I can all have a good laugh about it in the end. Eh, I'd work on that in detention tonight.


	3. Chapter 3

"Miss Granger, why on Earth are you acting like this? Are you under a curse?" Snape looked at me with confusion in his eyes. Aw! He was actually worried about me! I wink at him and blow him a kiss before saying brightly,

"Nope! I just decided that I'm so totally in love with you!" Snape looked like he was about to be sick, but just took a sip from his tea. I grinned with triumph because I slipped some Veritiserum into it while he wasn't looking. Bingo!

"Well, Miss Granger, that's all I needed to ask of you, I need you to grade some first and second year essays. Surely that isn't too hard for you?" He hands me a GINORMOUS stack of papers and my eyes widened before pushing them away and whispering,

"But wouldn't you rather fuck me, sir?" I took a really long time saying fuck, stretching it out so that he would get more annoyed with it.

"Well, yes, but it's not right." My eyes widen, as well as his, when I realize what he just said. It couldn't have been a lie, because he was under the influence of the truth-telling potion, so he was actually being honest.

"MISS GRANGER, WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?" I jumped back before stating that I slipped some Veritiserum into his tea, resulting in him throwing it at the stone wall. I watched it shatter into a million pieces before laughing so hard I nearly peed my pants, but I didn't, because that would have been disgusting.

"Well, sir, I think that it's great that you finally admitted to wanting to _fuck_ me, but now's the time to get some real questions asked." He shivered in repugnance. I just laughed. "Sir, how long have you liked me as more than a student? Although you never seemed to like me like that either." I mused aloud. Snape's face was nearly purple from trying to keep the truth from spilling out of his mouth.

"Since your sixth year, Miss Granger." I can barely hear him, he's so quiet, but nonetheless, I still do, and am thoroughly pleased.

"How badly do you want to kiss me?"

"Enough to nearly dying for it." He answers, his voice getting softer and softer, but still being forced to answer.

"If I kissed you right now, would you pull away?" He strains to keep quiet, but can't and gives up like the good little Snapey- Kins that I know.

"No, Miss Granger, I wouldn't. Now, I need you to grade these papers, so GO AWAY!" If looks could kill, I'd be a little pile of ash, blowing away from the pure heat and fire emanating from Mister Snark over here, but looks couldn't, so I didn't bother to continue to irritate him. I walked behind him and leaned over his shoulder, not quite touching him, but could if I so chose to.

"Don't lean forward and kiss her, Severus! You know that it wouldn't be right!" I go to his other shoulder and whisper,

"But you know that you want to. After all, you did just admit to it. You know that you want to just pick her up and fuck her on your desk. Don't you?" I blew some air onto his ear. "Well, don't you?" Deciding to overstep the boundaries between student and professor, I gave him a quick lick to the lobe of his ear before stepping back and shouting,

"SIR, YOU'RE ROBES ARE ON FIRE!" He curses and looks down, soon realizing that I was fucking with him (not that way, you pervs!), and started to tell me off before I stepped closer to him, looked him over twice, and gave him the biggest hug ever. He immediately went rigid, and I almost laughed.

"What the fuck was that for?" My eyes widened. I've never heard him drop the F-Bomb!

"I'm going to excuse your language, young man, but to be honest, I expected more of you!" He sputters with anger before saying in a deathly tone,

"I will NOT repeat myself, why did you just hug me, Miss Granger?" I looked at him as if he were daft.

"Well sir, you just repeated yourself after telling yourself that you wouldn't, so I'm not sure if you're entirely okay. Maybe St. Mungo's will still accept you? Well, anyways, I'm on strict orders from Dumbledore to give you a hug at least once a day, so, there you have it!"

"Miss Granger, you will NOT give me a hug every day!" I stared at him with mock-fury.

"But sir, you JUST SAID that you wanted to fuck me, and you won't give me a hug!" Snape's face morphs into a face with a lot of anger.

"Miss Granger, I'm quite sure you slipped some sort of potion into my drink to make me say something so disgusting."

"Well, sir, I did, and it did make you say those things, but only because you meant it!" Snape's eyes glare at me, and I glare at him back until he looks away. I fist pump the air before shouting,

"I WON!"

"Hermione, what exactly did you win?" I look up and at the source of where the amused voice came from. It was Remus, leaning against the door and smiling.

"Heeeeyyyy, Lupin! Did you come to see me? Or Old Sour Grape Snape?" I watch with laughter in my eyes while Snape looks angrier and angrier by the second.

"MISS GRANGER, I KNEW IT WAS YOU TO COME UP WITH THAT STUPID NICKNAME! GET OUT NOW! DETENTION FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK!" I wink at him and give Remus a hug before leaving, while saying,

"You'd like that 'detention', though, wouldn't you?"

"Out!" I walk out while laughing the entire time. I may have gotten more detention, but it sure was worth it to piss him off! Now, I'm going to tell Draco and Harry about what I just did… and what Snape said to me about wanting to fuck me. Especially about me saying that he'd like it if he fucked me on his desk. This year was getting better and better! Now that I think about it, why not try to piss off Snape some more? Remus will be there, so he'll support me. I peek my head into the door. Knowing Snape, he'll be engaged in giving tons of kids' papers failing grades, claiming them to "look fancy" or something like that while talking to Remus about how it would feel to have sex with a Werewolf virgin or something.

"Sir? I need your help with something." Snape sighs and stops grading papers and looks at me.

"Well, if it's not to ask for help in aid to kill yourself, then no thanks." I feel tears well up in my eyes. The words that he just said triggered a bad memory. A very bad memory of my dad after I had come home after the end of fifth year. I asked him to hug me. He asked me to die. Would if I could, father. Would if I could. You see, he was angry at me because my mum was dead because of a car wreck, and somehow he blamed them on me. I'm going to spare you guys the details because this is supposed to be a fun, happy story, but even you guys should know that life isn't Butterbeer and unicorns barfing rainbows.

My father was a meanie. He locked me in my room after taking my wand. Sure, I knew wandless magic, but what would I do if he caught me breaking out? Exactly. I stayed in that room with no food or water for a week before he finally let me out. I was so upset, but at least I got some food. That night, I ran away with my magical supplies and bag filled with Galleons and stayed at The Three Broomsticks, hoping for a better life. I actually met a friend there. Well, not really a friend, but we became civil to each other and became friends here at Hogwarts. Draco Malfoy was the one. Yep, he was annoyed with his father beating him, so he moved out and took his life savings. We ran into each other there, literally, and from then on, we teamed up to work on taking down Voldemort. It worked quite swimmingly, I must say. I didn't beat on him or make his white-blonde hair a different colour once while we were together. I have great skills. Anyways, back with the actual story. I stared at Snape with tears threatening to fall, but thanks to my awesomeness, they stayed in my eyes, but they were still visible. Snape saw them, too, even though I'm, like, a master at hiding tears.

"Sorry, Professor. I-I'll just go." I walked out of the classroom as quickly as I could, hoping that he wouldn't see my tears.

"Wait, Hermione, don-" When I finally get out of the classroom, I lean against the wall, finally letting my sadness fall. I was hoping that no one could hear my sobs. No such luck, though. I hear a set of footsteps behind me along with a recognisable voice.

"Hermione? Hermione, please, just come back into my classroom so that we can discuss this." I quickly dry my eyes and allow him to pull me up to my feet, although I'm also quite cautious about it, as well. I'm led into Snape's office, and there's Remus, looking very worried and curious.

"Hey, 'Mione, are you okay?" I stare into the soft eyes of Remus Lupin and he holds open his arms for me to run into like old times in Grimmauld Place. I slowly walk over to him, wrapping my arms around his mid waist and allow him to hug me before me asking him if he's homeless other than Hogwarts. He pulls away from me to give me a strange look.

"No, I'm not homeless, Hermione!"

"Oh. Are you a vampire, though?" He looks at me strangely again, but laughs and shakes his head before giving me a soft slap upside the head and wiping a stray tear off of my cheek.

"Hermione, why were you crying?" I solemnly stare into the black, Onyx eyes of Severus Snape. I merely squeak in response, shaking my head back and forth indicating that I am refusing to tell him. "Do you want to show me?" I look at him, confused before I realize that he's talking about Legilimancy. I contemplate this for a while. Would it be easier for me to just show him? Well, it would make it so that I don't have to tell him, so that would be better for me. I stare back into Remus's eyes, searching for support and finding it. I look back at Snape and nod. He steps forward and envelopes me in his arms, claiming it's to "keep me still", but I think he was just trying to "get some".

"Look into my eyes, Miss Granger." He tells me. I giggle.

"Oh, so demanding, sir!" I tease. I see a barely visible blush appear on his cheeks before he whispers,

"Legilimans," we are both thrust into the memories of my life. He sees my father hitting me and hurting me in every way possible. Snape saw my father blaming me for everything and me taking the brunt of his actions when John, my dad, came home drunk on his Muggle arse. He saw me taking my things and running away as fast as I possibly could to The Three Broomsticks and taking shelter there from then until Hogwarts and then back, refusing to go back to my house. He saw me wishing every night for death, but knowing that it wouldn't come for me. Not yet, at least. I didn't want him seeing anything else, so I slammed down my Occlumency walls, brutally forcing him out of my mind. We were both panting when we came back to the comfort of the world. And his office.

"Hermione… I'm so sorry. I- I didn't know, I-"

"How could you? It's not like I broadcast to the world that I was abused, stupid!" Snape glares at me and walks towards me, with me walking backwards until I hit his desk, him putting his arms on either side of me, demanding for Remus to leave his presence immediately.

"Bye, Sour-Grapes! See you later, 'Mione." Remus departs, leaving me alone with Snape. The guy who most likely takes the virginity of female bats for a living. Snape presses closer to me, the rough material of his robes against my Whitechapel T-shirt and jeans with Avenged Sevenfold written on them by yours Grangerly.

"Miss Granger, just what have you gotten yourself into, hmm? First, you mess with me, Severus Snape, the one person never to mess with. Annoying me constantly, just to see what I'm going to say, and now, after seeing your memories, I can't find it in my heart to be rude to you. Gods, girl, what are you doing to me?" The last sentence he seems to be saying to himself. I look at him with sadness in my eyes, because, honestly, I don't even know what I'm doing anymore.

"Sir, I just wanted to have some fun this year. Why don't you let me?" I demand, staring straight into his eyes, both of us breathing heavily. Snape narrows his eyes at me, leaning closer and closer to me until we have almost no amount of space between us.

"Miss Granger, why didn't you tell anyone? Why did you just suffer, DAMMIT!" I jump as his voice steadily rose to a yell, remembering all the times my father did the same.

"Please don't hurt me, sir. I just-" His eyes meet mine and he steps closer to me, leaving no space between us at all, puts his index finger beneath my chin, raising it and places a gentle kiss on my mouth. So, so gentle, I thought, leaning into the kiss before he abruptly pulled away, stepping back and going back over to his desk.

"Leave, Miss Granger. Now," I stare at him in shock. I just kissed a professor! Oh gods… does that mean that he likes other females of the human race and not only bats? Well, now wasn't exactly the time to question that. I walk out of his class while saying,

"I'm leaving, because I know that it took all of the willpower in you not to lift me up against the wall and do me, Professor." I give him a cheeky grin and skip out, regardless of what happened to me, silently laughing as I hear him yell,

"GRANGER! GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!"

"Sorry sir, but you said that I had to leave! Bye Professor!" I winked at him and skipped out of the room. Damn, even if my life is shit, at least I can still piss Snape off!


	4. Chapter 4

"He did WHAT?" Draco was laughing his ass off while Harry was getting angrier and angrier by the second, the fact that Blaise was practically fucking Ginny against the wall with Lavender sexually harassing Ron in a corner wasn't helping things either, though.

"Harry, calm down! It's not like he could help his desires." I say, desires, with a low voice, trying to imitate Snape's cool demeanor, making Draco go into yet another round of hysterics. Even Harry cracked a smile.

"I love ya, Hermes, you know that?" Draco drapes an arm over my shoulder, but I shrug it off.

"Don't call me that! It sounds like a freaking STD!"

"Who has an STD?" Lavender stops molesting Ron for a second to see what new gossip she can spread.

"Oh, Draco was telling me about how he had an STD because he was being fucked by Harry in the ass, and he got some sort of disease from it." Lavender shrugs as if that's the most normal thing to ever happen while both Draco and Harry stare at me in shock.

"One, Hermione, I don't get the chance to fuck Draco. He's always the one doing it. And two, why would you say that I gave Draco an STD? I'm clean! I swear!" I start laughing, indicating to the both of them that it was a joke; they both quickly let on and begin chuckling.

"What are we gonna do with her, Harry?" Harry pretends to think.

"Hmm, I think we should tie her up and give her to Snape as a present!" Wait, WHAT? I widen my eyes in disbelief.

"WHAT? NO, YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" They both grab me, Harry tying me up while Draco holds me down, with me scratching and biting my way out, however, Draco's too strong and before I know it, I'm hoisted over his shoulder with Harry following us, laughing, into the dungeons, Slytherins staring at us in amusement. The Slytherins were actually pretty cool, to be honest. Now that the war was over, we'd formed an alliance, but my favourite Slytherins were Blaise, Pansy, Millicent, and Draco, although I'm pretty pissed at him right now. They both dump me at Snape's Private Quarters, knocking on the door, placing a tie over my mouth as a gag, and running like hell.

"Mph, mpppphhhhh!" I'm screaming some pretty colourful curses at them, but they're already gone and I hear a voice behind me,

"What is this… display about, Miss Granger?" I stare into the black eyes of Snape. His facial expression is bored, but his eyes show amusement. I can't talk, so I just glare at him until he leans down and unties the Slytherin tie from my mouth.

"Can you at least untie me, sir?" I say sarcastically. He raises an eyebrow before picking me up and taking me into his rooms with me screaming and cussing at him the whole time, and dumped me on his couch.

"Miss Granger, why were you outside of my quarters? Bound and gagged, of all things!" I stare at him before blushing and admitting to what I'd done to make Draco and Harry do this as revenge. Snape starts laughing. _Laughing_, of all things!

"Shut up!" I yell before realizing what I've just said to him, widening my eyes and sinking back into the chair that I'm in, desperately trying to get out of my binds so I can get the hell out of here. I'm in desperate need of running around outside in my Springbok form. Yes, surprisingly I'm actually an Animagi. Who knew that a Muggleborn named Granger could do what Pure-Blooded Gay Prat Draco Malfoy couldn't? Well, everyone, but still. Eventually, I manage to make it out of my bindings, hopping up and running towards the door before I feel Severus's hands grab the back of my robes, sending my frail form flying (hey! Alliteration!) towards his black-clad body, slamming into his chest, while effectively knocking the air out of me.

"Wow, Professor… you have a really hard chest…." I mutter while trying to get out of his hold. If I just transformed right here, would it be okay? I mean, I'm registered and everything! Okay, transformation time in 3… 2… 1! I leap out of Severus Snape's arms, leaping at him, scaring the shit out of the relative dungeon bat. He narrows his eyes before closing them and before I know it, there's a Pronghorn Antelope standing in front of me, almost challenging me with his eyes. I glare at him before running out of his room, Snape hot on my heels. Most of the students in the Great Hall are at breakfast, but I don't know when they're going to have to go to classes, but right now, I don't really care, all I care about is outrunning Severus, which won't happen since he's one of the fastest mammals on Earth. I leap through the air, attempting to run faster, and end up leaping into the Great Hall, thousands of kids watching Snape slam into me from behind. Damn, that sounded perverted…. I immediately transform back to my original body, as a normal Hermione Granger in spandex capris far too tight and a T-shirt with open robes. Snape transforms back much more elegantly than me. Douchebag… What a show-off! It's probably because he's older! I find Draco and Harry and sit with them, everyone is STILL silent from mine and Snape's "frolicking" session.

"What is you're guys' problem?" A quick glare from me and Draco AND Snape quickly makes everyone go to an uncomfortable conversation. I see Dumbledore lean in to talk to Severus- wait, when did I start calling him that? Oh, fuck it. Who cares? He just practically RAPED me in animal form! I'm pretty sure I can call him by his first name in my head. Just not aloud. When breakfast ends, I head to Potions, intent on irritating Severus to no end.

* * *

When Snape came in, there were rose petals scattered out behind him wherever he went. A charm invented by yours truly. He figured out what I did when I began laughing my ass off in the middle of class, pointing it out to him.

"Miss Granger, drop this, this charm, or else!" Severus's face was almost red and about to explode.

"I'm not afraid of you." I state plainly, staring at him in defiance, but dropping the charm out of the goodness of my perfect, Granger heart. He sneers at me.

"Oh, but you should be." I glare a 'Snape-glare' at him and say,

"But I'm not, so get over it!" He looks at me, muttering under his breath about annoying Gryffindors.

"Hey! I can hear you! And so can Harry! You wouldn't want Draco to kick your butt, would you? No! So apologize!" The look he gave me would have terrified every first year enough to make them quit Hogwarts, but not me! Not Hermione Granger!

"Granger, shut up! 50 points from Gryffindor!" I shrug my shoulders in a nonchalant gesture.

"Eh, whatever, I'll just earn them back anyways." Snape rolls his eyes and begins talking about a potion that could help you find something that you've lost. I raise my hand, but he doesn't notice, or he pretends not to. I begin waving my hand around, saying,

"I've got a question, Professor, I've got a question!" He finally sighs and says,

"What do you want, Granger? I'm trying to teach!" I glare at him again before repeating what I said the last time he said that to me.

"Well, like I said before, it isn't like anyone's actually listening. Now, sir, does the potion work on people? Or animals?" Snape breathed in and out deeply for a second before asking,

"And why would you need to ask that, Miss Granger?" I smiled brightly at him.

"Because I lost my pet Werewolf!" The entire class began laughing, Draco actually fell out of his seat. Everyone knew that Remus was a werewolf, because since the war, news had spread.

"And who the heck is your 'Pet Werewolf'?"

"It's Remus Lupin, sir! You know, your bestie!" I give him a knowing smirk, knowing that Remus is most definitely NOT his bestie.

"Miss Granger, the potion will not work on people, animals, or stupid creatures, so no more questions from you if they're going to be irrelevant." I give Severus a wink, causing him to blink, look away, look back to me, blink again, and shudder. But I know he only shuddered because he was secretly cumming.

"Whatever. Sir," I added as an intended afterthought. Snape sighs and gets back to his lecture. It's Wednesday and I have detention. Go figure. At least I can annoy him some more, though.

* * *

When I'm dressed in a pair of my neon orange tights, nearly shredded white shorts, an off-the-shoulder, neon pink sweater, and a black tank top underneath, I go to Draco, asking him if I looked good. He gave me the once-over before waving his wand and giving me bright pink converse. It sure is good to have a gay friend. I thank him, kiss his forehead, along with Harry's, Blaise's, skipping Ron and Lavender, and hugging Ginny goodbye, I head to Snape's classroom. They may never see me alive ever again. I knock on his door, the wooden oak doors opening in front of me and slamming behind me. I jump in surprise as Severus walks up to me, stares at my rocking body, shakes his head in disgust, because we all know that Dungeon Bats despise bright colours. Even dark grey. He leads me to all of the cauldrons, telling me that he expects all of them cleaned, or I'll be writing lines tomorrow along with cleaning day-old cauldrons. Sometimes, this Batman really is evil. More evil than "The Joker". Otherwise known as me. I get to working on my task, finishing with twenty minutes to spare (take that Snape!) and walking up to him, with his back facing me. Sneaking up, I yell,

"BOO!" Causing him to jump, spilling the red ink all over what he was writing on. Dammit, it was my essay!

"Well, Miss Granger, how ironic! Because of you, your paper is ruined!" He almost sounded gleeful at this. Of course. Bastard.

"Well, because of me, it'll be fixed as well!" I concentrate deeply on the paper, willing the ink to be cleaned off of it, leaving my elegant scrawl. I smile proudly at Severus, who looks at me in confusion.

"How can you do wandless magic? It isn't anything taught at Hogwarts." I give him an incredulous stare.

"Hel-lo! I'm the insufferable know-it-all! I study for, like, a living! Why wouldn't I know it?"

"Well, it's just that… it's very hard to learn." I give him a confused look.

"Don't you know how to do it?" Snape looks exasperated, throwing his hands up in the air.

"Well, of course I do, Granger! The only reason that I never did it in front of the Dark Lord is because he would've eliminated me, being the only one besides him to accomplish that." I stare at the ground in embarrassment.

"Oh…" Severus sighs, running his fingers through his hair and looking at me.

"Look, I don't mean to come off as a complete bastard, strange as it sounds, but I do want to know why you're pranking me so much." I stare at him, deciding that I should tell him.

"Well, sir. It all started when I decided that I wanted to do everything I possibly could to make you annoyed, irritated, or frustrated with me." I left him hanging a bit, though.

"But…." Snape prompted. Should I tell him of my crush? Well, not really a crush, more of an obsession.

"Well, sir…. I've always… kinda… well- I- I always had a massive crush on you." I blushed staring at the ground in embarrassment. Oh god, he's gonna throw me out and tell everyone! He didn't, though. All he did was come closer to me, almost as if he was trying to be as cautious as possible. Slowly, so slowly, he pulled me closer to him, wrapping his arms around my waist and pressing his hips to mine, running his hands through my hair and gently pressing his lips to mine once, twice, thrice. It felt so good, like an electric bolt running through me, giving me tons of energy and a thrill. I wrapped my arms around his neck, leaning up to meet his lips, kissing him hard, our mouths moving in perfect rhythm with one another as his tongue outlined my bottom lip, tracing it, asking entrance, which was granted to him. His tongue caressed mine as we both battled for dominance, neither one willing to give up the fight; we were much too stubborn to do that. I don't even remember which one of us won, to be honest. We were no longer student and professor, no longer teacher and child. We were man and woman, both with needs being met. I slowly ended the kiss, trying to catch my breath as Severus looked me in the eyes, silently asking if I regretted it. I told him no.

"Professor…." I began, but he simply interrupted me and said,

"Call me Severus. Only when we're alone. Understood?" I nodded, and gave a soft moan.

"Gods, Severus…. So dominating. So controlling… you like it that way, don't you?" I made my voice all innocent-sounding, when, in reality, I was saying things a porn-star would say. Maybe I shouldn't have watched that with my Muggle friend two years ago…. Severus shivered and whispered in my ear,

"You do know that I'm going to start getting you back for all of your silly, little pranks… right?" I gasp when his tongue flicks out to lick the shell of my ear.

"Game. On." I manage to choke out. He chuckles; I can feel the deep vibrations in his chest. What an interesting year this is turning out to be.

"I have a feeling you are going to lose this game, little minx." I look up to glare at him, poking him in the chest while cornering him.

"I don't think so, Snape!" In the midst of me poking his rock-hard chest, Severus grabs my wrist and pulls me forward.

"You'll find that it's not a smart idea to poke me, little one." He sneers at me.

"You'll find that it's not a smart idea to grab me, butt trumpet." I mutter. Severus's eyes widen, and he tangles his hand in my hair, pushing me against his oak wood desk. It hurts.

"Hey, Snape, I was wondering if-" Remus stopped dead in his tracks as soon as he saw the position Severus and I were in. A grin crept along his face, and he said, "Hmm! Getting some, aren't you Sour Grapes?" Severus began to retort, but I covered his mouth with my hand, leaving him unable to talk.

"MPHH! MPPHHHHH!" I begin to laugh at his struggle, but then the bastard LICKS my HAND!

"DAMMIT, SNAPE!" I let go of Severus's mouth, wiping my hand on my rocking jeans.

"'Mione, you look like a fucking traffic cone!" I glare at Remus and chuck one of Severus's teaching supplies at him. It turns out to be a jar of ink. GOAL!

"Uh… sorry Remus…" I snicker, indicating that I'm not sorry at all. He growls at me while I say,

"Hey, Remus! You wanna go look at the full moon with me? Ha ha, can't! Zombie!" With that being the last thing I say, I run out while Severus is laughing and Remus is hitting him upside the head. I love being me.


	5. Chapter 5

When I woke up, I realized that I only had twenty minutes to get ready and get to breakfast, and I hadn't even had a shower! I quickly cast a cleansing charm on myself, feeling somewhat clean, tossed on one of Draco's old Slytherin shirts that said, 'Can I "Slytherin" to your Bedroom?' I laugh, putting on some jeans and remembering the look on Ron's face when Draco gave it to me in front of him. It took Lavender four tries to get him to focus on her again. Ha! What should I do to Snape today? Well, maybe I should get the Voodoo doll of Harry…. I wave my wand and suddenly, there is a near perfect replica of Harry in a ten inch doll form. It even has the scar and the Gryffindor robes! I take some pins and put them in a little baggie, taping them to the doll's face.

"Perfect!" I say, going to brush my hair and teeth quickly. When I see the mirror, I scream loud enough for Draco to hear me down the hallway. He comes rushing in to see what was the matter.

"Whoa, 'Mione! What happened to your hair and eyes?" He's right, my eyes are a brilliant red, resembling Voldemort's, and my hair is bright silver, and running down the length of my back. Well, at least it's straight… right? I wince at the bright colours I have. Great, now I look more Slytherin than ever. Hey, I'm Hermione bloody Granger! I can totally pull this look off! I pull on some silver and green converse, belonging to Draco, of course, and one of his Slytherin scarves. Draco's wearing gold Vans, so I take my tie, wrap it around his white button down shirt's collar, and put a scarf around his waist. Perfection! He's dating Harry, so he's gonna wear Gryffindor colours, and I'm not sure where me and Severus are at right now, but we're definitely above student/teacher relations, so therefore I'm going to wear Slytherin colours. I take Draco's hand in mine and we walk down to the Great Hall. Everyone stares at us, wondering what happened to us while Severus stares at the both of us in annoyance and disgust for so long that I stand up, and yell,

"What? What is so bad about us that you can't bear to look at me or Drakey without having a look of disgust on your face? Huh? What is your problem?" Draco, Harry, Pansy, and Blaise silently rise from their seats, form a big circle around me and quickly drag me out of the Great Hall with me challenging Snape to a duel. He just gets out of his seat and follows me and my friends out, telling all of them to leave us. They do, except for Draco, who is reluctant to leave me all alone with Severus, but he takes Draco by the shoulders, turns him around, kicks open the doors to the Great Hall, and pushes him in, closing the doors behind him.

"Miss Granger, what is your problem?" He hissed at me. I glare at him in defiance.

"It's not me who has the problem. Sir," I spit back at him, eyes narrowing. Snape pushes me against the doors, keeping my hands above my head after I try to hit him.

"Excuse you, Miss Granger?" I snort in disbelief.

"Stop with all the 'Miss Granger' shit. Gods, this is so fucked up." I mutter.

"Language, …Hermione." I stare at him, seeing that he's afraid of what I'm going to say to him from him saying my given name. I just smile.

"I think that's the one thing that you don't need to worry yourself about, sir."

"If I'm to call you Hermione, you are to call me Severus, since we're alone. All alone…" He seems to say to himself before pushing away from me, and walking to his classroom, leaving me standing by the door, not hungry anymore.

* * *

"Mister Potter! What is this- this monstrosity?" Harry looked at Severus calmly; the boy was used to being yelled at by this sex-god of a bat. I decided to intervene right as Harry said,

"It's a potion, sir." Severus was about to blow up.

"A potion? This is no potion! It's a mere concoction of all the wrong ingredients!" I interrupt.

"Ahem, sir. Perhaps this should help you calm yourself without disrupting the entire class." I hand him the Voodoo doll of Harry. The entire class erupted with laughter. Except for Harry, obviously, Severus, who looks like he's going to put the doll to good use later, and me, because I'm trying to look as innocent as possible. Severus breathes in deeply and exhales.

"Miss Granger, why would you assume that I'd need a Voodoo doll of Mister Potter when I could easily curse him?" Harry nearly choked while I chuckle, seeing the amusement in Severus's eyes while we slowly torment Harry.

"Well, sir, I suppose not, but what if your… erm, _wand_, doesn't work?" He knows I'm teasing him, but who cares? No one except Harry can hear us because they're still laughing. And Harry's confused, so it's just whatever.

"Well, Miss Granger, doubting my certain…_ skills_ deserves another week's detention, so not only will you be forced to finish up this week, including weekends, but you'll have to do it next week as well." By now the laughter that had previously filled the room, had died down and everyone was watching me and Severus, but they weren't taken note of, considering the fact that we were both ignoring all of them, and stuck in our own world.

"Well, sir, I suppose I could squeeze you in to my very _tight_ schedule." I whispered this so that no one but him could hear me. We would become the object of gossip if anyone heard us talking like this.

"You'd better, Miss Granger. My expectations of you are quite high."

"Good."

"Sit down," he says, grinning for a slight moment, making everyone look at him with shock.

"I'd be happy to, sir." I smile at him, hug him tightly and sit down. By now, everyone is so silent, you could hear a pin drop. The look in Severus's eyes is murderous, but I swear, for ONE second, he hugged me back. I suppose I'm growing on him.

* * *

"Wow, Hermione, I've, like, never seen him smile when he was in school! Only when we were talking alone!" Draco said, walking beside me.

"I know! How weird!" I respond, walking to Transfiguration class with him. We both sit down right as the bell rings.

"Hello, class! Today, we'll be talking about Animagi." Everyone turns to me, and I slowly slide down in my seat.

"Miss Granger, since you are the only one in this class, except for me, who is able to transform, will you demonstrate for us?" I slowly nod, not wanting to seem like a show-off, and think of my Springbok form, melting into it. The entire class gasps as Severus walks in, looking at me kind of funnily.

"McGonagall, I need to ask you about something…" He keeps staring at me while I keep glaring at him.

"Yes, Severus?"

"How old do you have to be to be an Animagi? Legally, of course." Yeah, because we all remember James and his gang.

"Well, Severus, legally, you have to be twenty-one." Everyone turns to me. They don't know that I'm older because of my frequent Time-Turner usage. What idiots.

"Then, Miss Granger isn't old enough, is she?" Minerva looks quite uncomfortable since only Draco and Harry know about my true age.

"Actually, Severus, she um… well," she leans in and whispers, "she is." Even though she was being quiet, everyone could still hear her.

"You weren't quiet enough, Professor." Severus says, practically mocking her formality.

"Hush up, Severus. Class! Quiet down!" They all did, but not without most of them glaring at me. I stood and ran out of the classroom. I can't believe Minerva would risk telling Severus in the middle of class! Thank god I'm in animal form. I'd never be able to outrun Draco in there!

I leap down the hall, running outdoors and sprinting wherever I could. I found many students outside, enjoying their free period. I quickly leap past them before realizing that someone's behind me! I turn around, expecting to see a huffing and puffing Draco, but I instead see a Pronghorn Antelope. Great! Now Sour Grapes is after me! There's no way for me to outrun him, though! Fuck it, I'm just going to have to try. I quickly run to a secluded area where there's only grass and sunlight, quickly finding that I'm lost. Shit, where can I- OOF! Great, someone tackled me. Someone being stupid, snarky Severus Snape. We both quickly transform back to our original bodies. I attempt to shove him off of me, but he won't fucking move!

"Get the hell off of me!" I shout at him. He rolls over, breathing heavily, as well as me. We've been running for who knows how long, and we're still lost.

"Well, Miss Granger, this would have never happened if you hadn't of ran away! Everyone's been going mad!"

"Well, if you hadn't barged in and asked Minerva how old the age was, then this would have never happened! Overgrown bat," I mumble. Snape sighs and hits me upside the head. I whirl to look at him. "Hey! You can't do that!" He gives me a satisfied look.

"You aren't a student, technically, so yes I can." I glare at him and get up, sprinting away from him as fast as I could. Shit, I should have thought this through. A seventeen (really twenty-one) year old girl trying to run faster than a thirty-seven year old ex-death eater/ spy. Will this work out well for me in the end? No, not really. Quickly, he tackles me, yet again! And now he's on top of me, nearly crushing the god dang life out of me while I try to push him off. Again, not a great idea considering the fact that, although I'm not weak, he's much, much stronger than I am, and will easily overpower me. However, me, being the idiotic chit that I am, did not think of that before I attempted to push/ pull him off of my body, and therefore ended up with my hands above my head yet again while he keeps his knees on either side of my legs to ensure that I don't try to kick him, because I'm awesome like that.

"Listen to me, Hermione. I don't want to do this, but if you can't control yourself, I have no choice! I will tell everyone that there is no age limit to be an Animagus, as long as you don't run away again." I give him a challenging stare.

"And if I run away again?" Severus gets this weird look into his eyes.

"Then I'll have no choice but to… sedate you." I yank my arms out from its constraints and get up off of the ground, showing Severus that he doesn't have to bind me again before I find him getting up off the ground. When he's almost up, I leap at him, taking my hands and running them through his hair, making it all messy and then running away from him yet again, hoping that I've created a good enough of a distraction to make my escape without him being able to catch up to me. No such luck, though. Within seconds, he has me pinned under him for the third time today. I toss my hair back in annoyance.

"Dammit, Severus! Get off!" We continue staring in each other's eyes before he leans in, putting his lips to the shell of my ear and whispering,

"No," I shiver, showing him the effect it had on me, making him laugh.

"Shut up, you prat!" We aren't in school, so I'm not afraid of him right now. His hair's still a mess, and I giggle. "Need a hairbrush, Professor?"

"What? What is wrong with my hair? Huh? What is so bad about it that every kid has to constantly make fun of it?" Severus looks pretty upset, making my eyes soften and me stop struggling against him.

"Sorry, sir." I then hear laughter.

"HA! You fell for it! Wow, you're more gullible than I thought!" I glared at him before bucking him off of me and straddling him.

"Well, if I can do that, then you're pretty foolish." I tell him, running my fingers through his hair, fixing it into its usual style before leaning in and kissing his cheek shyly and pulling back, not sure how far to go. Apparently, Severus wanted more, because his right hand came up to tangle itself in my hair and pulled my head down to kiss me, we kissed until both of us were about to die from lack of breathing when we finally stopping making out. We gasped for air when we came up to breathe.

"Er… that was… uh…" I was at loss for words, as well as Severus. I never thought I'd see him like this. He always has something to say for something or someone. Instead or talking, all he does is lean in to kiss me again, running his hands along my sides and pulling me under him so that he could be above me. When he puts his knee to my clothed core, we both moan, but I don't want to go too far; I'm not having my first time the middle of nowhere outside!

"Severus, I-I can't. Not right now." I look into his eyes, expecting to see anger or disappointment, instead I see understanding and compassion. He nods.

"It's okay, after all, it wouldn't do for us to do this outside where anyone could see us. Are you… are you a virgin?" He asks me. I blush in embarrassment.

"Well, Ron and I were planning to, but we broke up and-" Severus cuts me off.

"Yes, I understand. Gods, I do not like that kid." I laugh.

"Hey, Severus, the All Hallows Eve Ball is going to be coming up and I was wondering if you'd like to go with me…." Severus ponders this.

"Well, you're a student, but you're also above the age of consent…. I suppose I could dance most of the night with you, but I'm a chaperone there." I feel a pang of disappointment, but remind myself that he's a teacher and that I should be lucky that he's even going to dance with me at the ball. It's in about a month, so there are going to be four trips to Hogsmeade for us to get our costumes. I'm going to be a vampire. Maybe…

"Hey, I'm going as a vampire, so would you like to be the male version?" I ask him while he chuckles in mild amusement.

"Why not?" He says as I grin and kiss him full on the lips. Suddenly, a realization comes upon me.

"We need to get to class!"


	6. Chapter 6

Everyone was whispering behind my back, to my sides, in front of me. Severus told them that he was merely lying when he spoke of the age limit, but some didn't believe him, and that select few was enough to get the whole gossip mill churning. Well, great, just great, now everyone except Pansy, Draco, Harry, Blaise, and Ginny thought that I was a liar or a whore, sleeping with the Minister of Magic that way I could be an Animagi. These kids are so stupid, I swear! Have none of them heard of time-turning? Seriously! But, then again, it wouldn't be good for every kid to know that I wasn't supposed to even be a student here…. Maybe this was a blessing. At least today was the trip to Hogsmeade for the Halloween Ball, so as soon as I get my shopping done, I could go and have me a nice Firewhiskey. Or a Screaming Orgasm, I've heard that they were good, though I've never had the guts to go up to a bartender and ask him to give me a Screaming Orgasm. That would be too embarrassing. However, Draco, Harry, Pansy, and Ginny would be joining us and maybe even Blaise if we were lucky.

* * *

"Oi, Hermione! What are you going to wear?" Draco asks me, while jumping on my back. I grunt and attempt to carry him around Hogsmeade before Harry steps in and picks Draco up himself.

"Thanks Harry, I was about to collapse from Mister Stupidity over here." I fake a glare at Draco, but hug him and walk into a shop called, 'Ma Cherie'. I walked inside and looked around. Most of the dresses were disappointing, though. Either they were too short or they were atrociously long. I didn't like most of them. There were two that caught my eye. The one that I kind of wanted was too big, so Pansy bought it. The last one was knee-length and draped across my body. It was a one-shoulder dress, and there were green rhinestones embedded into the left shoulder. The colour of the dress was black, but when put in firelight, it alternated between silver and black. I loved it, but what shoes should I wear? I look at a pair of green stilettos, but I also see Pansy eyeing them, so I forget about them. I also see a pair of silver wedges, but they don't have my size.

Finally, the final pair that would match well with my dress is a pair of black pumps, reminding me of my Tory Burch's currently in my Muggle house. I make my purchases, and promise everyone to meet them at the Three Broomsticks after words. I walk into a pet store and find a white bunny rabbit and buy it along with a tag that I have "Minerva" inscribed onto. Severus will either love it or make it into bunny stew, but either way, he's doing something to benefit him. I hide all of my things in a tiny purse with an undetectable expanding charm.

I find Draco and Harry sitting at the bar with Pansy and Ginny, who is sitting on Blaise's lap. I go over to them, and realize that Severus is sitting in a dark corner, drinking Firewhiskey, and watching me. I wink at him and begin walking over to him. I take out the pet rabbit and sit it on his lap with everybody watching us, laughing while Severus looks like he needs a good drink that'll help him let go. I gather my courage and get the bartender's attention. He raises his eyebrows in recognition. I yell loud enough for him and the rest of my gang along with Severus to hear,

"Can I get two Screaming Orgasms, please?" He laughs and nods, and begins making the drinks. Severus looks at me in disbelief while I pay for our drinks.

"Screaming Orgasms, Hermione? Really?" I giggle and nod while he shakes his head in disbelief. "Er, Hermione, what am I supposed to do with this bunny?" I laugh and say,

"Its name is Minerva, and she's going to be your companion! That way you won't always feel so lonely at night!" Severus turns red at his ears and tells me to shut the fuck up.

"You know, Hermione, if I wanted someone to talk to all the time, I could just kidnap you easily." I blanch and say,

"You wouldn't." He raises an eyebrow.

"Oh, but I would." I glare at him and get up after downing my Screaming Orgasm, silently daring him to try. I grab my bags and run, not looking back to see if he's behind me while I run to go to Hogwarts. Did you know that Apparition is possible in Hogwarts ground? I can do it, as well as Draco, since we're Head Boy and Head Girl. It's pretty cool. However, Severus can do it, too, so that's another disadvantage. I apparate to Hogwarts and run to the entrance, going inside and magicking my bags to my quarters before looking around, realizing that the entire room's just gone dark.

I feel a little scared and stumble around before feeling someone's arms wrap around my waist, dragging me down the stairs. I try to scream, but the person's hand is covering my mouth. Suddenly the lights go on and I'm faced with a smirking Severus Snape. I glare at him and push him away from me, fully intent on going to my rooms to lie down before I go to detention with him. He's not too happy about that, though, because he yanks me back and slams the door shut. I scream in frustration, but he's already cast a silencing charm on the room. I push him away from me again and he retaliates by pulling me against his chest, trapping me effectively while I struggle. He whispers in my ear,

"Hermione, just give. It. Up." I give a violent shiver at his words and turn around, throw my arms around his neck, and kiss him, promptly throwing him off guard, but eventually his hands wrap around my waist, tugging me closer to him until there's no space left between us. Our tongues battle for dominance while he presses me against the wall of his room. I run my fingers through his hair and he tangles his hand in mine. I press harder against him while he picks me up and tugs my legs around his waist. It's almost like a dance for us, both trying to outdo the other. Neither of us ever win, though, because eventually we either forget or both win against each other. Severus traces his fingers along my sides, causing me to shiver in pleasure.

"Gods, Severus, please!" He chuckles against my neck and murmurs to me, shooting a shiver through my body while I held onto him.

"Please what, Hermione?" He asks. I clutch onto his shoulders.

"Please just-" Suddenly I'm cut off by a sharp rapping on the door. We both quickly disengage, try not to look flushed, and Severus calls out with a hopefully normal- sounding voice,

"Enter!" I giggle softly. The door creaks open to reveal a grinning Albus Dumbledore.

"How are you doing, Severus?" Severus sighs with irritation and runs his fingers through his hair.

"What do you want, old man?" Albus gives a faintly shocked look.

"Why Severus! I'm insulted! Not even a, 'Hello'?" Severus glares at him and walks towards him.

"Is there something you wanted?" Albus looks at me and him with a knowing smile.

"Oh, nothing, Severus. Just wanted to check on you and your… apprentice." Severus rolls his eyes and says,

"Well, you've checked up, so you can go now." Albus gives a twinkle of his eye before leaving, shutting the door behind him.

"What just happened?" I ask Severus.

"Albus is trying to barge in to everybody's life, that's what." I raise an eyebrow and shrug, walking towards him and placing my hands on his chest.

"Hmm… Well, since we were so rudely interrupted, I think you'll need to remind me of what was going on." Severus smirked and we spent the rest of the day "reminding" each other of what happened before Albus. At least he was good for something.

* * *

"Now, class, listen up!" We all turn to Severus Snape and pretend to listen, but are really passing a bunch of notes. Mine, of course, had to get confiscated and read OUT LOUD to the entire class. Of course, me and Lavender were expecting this, so we beat him at his own game.

"'_Hey, Lav, what are ya doing?'_

_Oh, nothing, but do you think that Ron would ever want a threesome?' _someone in the class whistles and Ron shouts out, "YES!"

_I don't know, it depends on who it is._

_Who do you think might want to do it?_

_Maybe that "cute Longbottom kid"_ Neville starts to look really scared, but interested while Snape continues to read it with an irritated look on his face.

_I don't know, 'Mione, I mean, doesn't he have a girlfriend?_

_Well, yeah, but if you guys invited Draco and Harry, you could make it into an orgy, or something. _

_OMG! Mione! You dirty, dirty minded girl!_

_Ha-ha, I know, right? Damn, Harry and Draco make the hottest damn couple ever! _Severus looks at me and says, "Ten points from Gryffindor for cursing, Miss Granger." I roll my eyes and tell him to continue.

_I know! I would totally do it with both of them, but I don't think that their "wands" would be hard enough._

_Ha! Wow, I'm pretty sure Draco wasn't a virgin when he started dating Harry, so I'm sure he'd screw you, he just wouldn't like it._

_Gee, 'Mione, thanks for the support._

_You're Welcome! That's what friends are for! They stay by your side forever! Just like boobs!_

_Wow, 'Mione, like, lol, much?_

_Yeah, do you think that Snape would ever have a child?_

_I don't know, because he seems like such a-_ Snape abruptly stops while we both grin at him, knowing exactly what we said to make him stop. Severus takes in ten deep breaths before yelling,

"MISS GRANGER, YOU HAVE THE REST OF THE YEAR'S DETENTION WITH ME! LAVENDER BROWN, YOU HAVE THE REST OF THE YEAR'S DENTENTION WITH FILCH!" We both look at each other and laugh.

"Okay, Mister Bat!" I say. The entire room freezes up and I stare at the extremely angry Potions Professor. Severus takes in a very deep, slow breath before he takes out his wand and promptly ejects me from his classroom, where, ten minutes later many 7th years find me laughing my ass off.

"Granger, get in here. Now." I dry the tears from my eyes and walk into his class.

"Yes sir?" Severus rolls his eyes and motions for me to sit down in the "We're going to have a long talk" chair. I sigh and plop down in the seat.

"Hermione, this little prank war is getting ridiculous." I narrow my eyes at him and say,

"You're just saying that because we talked about how cute Neville was!" Severus rises from his seat so fast, he looked like a big blur of darkness. He grabs a hold of my shoulders and brings me close to him.

"You are to be mine. No one else's. Only. Mine." My eyes are wide, but I manage to stay still while he sets me down and walks around the desk. He places both hands on it, easily pressing me against the desk and kisses me hard. I can't help a small moan from getting out while he picks me up and folds me against his body, gently sucking on the side of my neck. I gasp in surprise as he takes one of my breasts in his right hand. We've never gone this far. He takes out his wand and puts a silencing charm and a ward on the entire room. Suddenly, I'm being placed on the desk and my shirt is gone.

"Severus…" I sigh. He traces his lips down my collarbone and places tiny kisses on each of my breasts, tenderly taking his tongue and circling a nipple. It feels like my entire body is on fire as he runs his fingers up the curve of my back. I smother a gasp as I feel my panties soak and my skirt get flipped up. Severus's fingers trace little circles on my clit while I moan softly. His index finger sneaks into my underwear and teases my labia.

"Gods, Severus, please!" He pushes in the tip of his index finger and says,

"Tell me who you belong to!" I throw my head back, abandoning all caution.

"You, Severus, only you!" He pushes his entire finger inside of me while I scream. Thank the gods for silencing charms. His thumb circles my clit while I whimper and gasp at his ministrations. Suddenly, my lower belly tightens and it's like I had the most energetic adrenaline rush and I feel a huge release, sticky fluid escaping me and covering Severus's hand. I would've apologized if he didn't seem to like it as much as he did. He took out his hand from my skirt and underwear and began licking a clear liquid off of his hand, seeming to enjoy the taste. I look into his eyes and see that his pupils have gone so big that I can barely see his irises. His head goes between my thighs and I feel his tongue lapping up my juices while I gasp and silently scream. Soon, I feel the same feeling as I did before, like I was on a roller coaster and going to the very top before it snapped and I fell, screaming while I came all over his face. He gets up and wipes himself off, before cleansing me with a Scourgify. I get off of his desk, trembling slightly from the two most intense feelings I've ever had. Severus embraces me in his arms, holding me tight and whispering in my ear,

"I love you."


	7. Chapter 7

"Hermione, I'm really sorry! So is Harry!" Draco insisted, Harry nodding enthusiastically.

"Guys, if you had never tied me up and put me outside of Snape's door, then he would have never freaked me out. If he'd never freaked me out, I would have never transformed into my Animagus form. If I'd never transformed, Snape wouldn't have either. If he'd never changed, my animal instincts would have never kicked in. If my animal instincts hadn't of kicked in, I wouldn't have run into the Great Hall. If I hadn't have run into the Great Hall, no one would have known that I was a Springbok, but now, because of what you two have done, they do!" I finish my little rant, breathing heavily while Draco and Harry look incredibly guilty.

"'Mione, we're really sorry! How could you ever forgive us?" I think for a bit and an evil smile comes over my face. "Uh-oh," Draco gulps.

"I can forgive you, but you and Harry are both going to be my slaves for two whole weeks!" I declare. They both moan in anger.

"Hermione, you really are a Slytherin, aren't you?" Harry sighs.

"Ha, yeah, I guess so." I responded.

"What are you going to have us do?" Draco asks me.

"Draco, I want you to declare your undying love for Professor Snape. Harry, I want you to ask him why he used the Voodoo doll on you last night, because you felt it. Here," I wave my wand and Harry cries out. Oh, please, all I did was cast a spell to make it where Harry had small scratches on his arms, clearly done by someone else.

"What the fuck, Hermione?" I shrug and say,

"It would make it more believable if you showed it to Snape." Harry rolls his eyes and kisses Draco. I groan and walk away. "Oh, and I want both of you to do it tonight at dinner." They both sigh, but nod. I grin slightly. Tonight is going to be good.

* * *

"Now? Why?" Draco hisses at me.

"Because you are my slave! Now do it!" I hiss back. He grunts, but stands up.

"Severus Snape, I love you with all of my heart! I always have and I always will! I don't even care that you are still in love with Harry's mum! I'll always be here for you!" Draco declares loudly, causing the entire Great Hall to go into silence while Severus's face goes red and he stands up, fully intent to smack Draco when I decide to intervene. I don't want one of my best friends to be killed.

"Snape, just calm down, like, jeez! All the boy is trying to say is that he's in love with you!" I shout at Severus. He freezes and sends me a glare so magnificent that I'm sure he worked very hard on it to perfect.

"Miss Granger, you now have detention with me for the rest of the month for your cheek." I glare at him while he smirks at me.

"Which cheek, sir?" I add extra emphasis on the 'sir' part, that way everyone would know that I was being sarcastic with him. Severus just smirks and says,

"Fine. You now have this month's detention along with the rest of next month's. Would you like to push for more?" He asks smarmily.

"Well, now I'll have to cancel all of my plans! Unlike you, some of us have a freaking life!" I shout at him. His eyes darken and my heart races. There is going to be hell to pay, I know that.

* * *

"Miss Granger, 50 points from Gryffindor for your little outburst." I roll my eyes and when he walks away, I shoot him the bird, aiming it to where only the Gryffindors and Slytherins can see it, no teachers or Ravenclaws or Hufflepuffs. We all snicker, but no one else really knows what's going on.

"Damn, Hermione, he must really love you; if we'd done something like that, we'd all be dead!" Pansy laughs. I weakly smile back. I wonder if he really loves me…. _Well, of course he does! He admitted to it when he was under the influence of Veritiserum, so he must have been telling the truth! _

"Yeah, Pans, I guess he does. I guess he does." With that, I get up and leave to go to the library, my friends all gaping at me in surprise. I grin to myself evilly. I have a plan, and it involves my new snowy owl and the oh-so-loveable Professor Snape.

"So, Sevvie, what do you think about my plan?" I ask my tiny, pet owl. Severus's head pops up from grading.

"Granger, what the hell did you just call me?" I send a fake glare in his direction and hold up my owl.

"As you can obviously see, sir, I was not talking to you, but my pet owl, so maybe next time you should pay more attention to your surroundings." I tell him with a prim and proper look on my face, whereas Severus looks furious.

"Excuse me, young lady?" I raise one of my eyebrows at him, proving to the master of eyebrow-raising that I can do it better. Crap! He raised his right eyebrow and then his left. Then he did it again and again, but faster! Show-off.

"Big-headed attention whore." I mutter at him, then get back to work on grading some of the essays for younger years. Suddenly, I feel a large, warm hand covering my mouth, and the other on my eyes. I stiffen, and hear Severus's chuckle behind me.

"Oh, I'm the attention whore, am I?" I can't really do anything, so I just nod. Severus picks me up and carries me gods know where and sets me down on something kind of high up. Maybe a table or a counter top or something. Suddenly, I can actually see again!

"You know, Hermione, you have really been pushing my limits as of late, and I don't think you know just how stupid that is." He pushed me further against the desk, him wrapping my legs around his waist. I stare at him until he lets go of my mouth.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about, sir." He sneers.

"Well, perhaps I should show you?" The first touch was all it took. I just became undone. It was good that he had no more classes, because we weren't finished until nine. He never put up a silencing charm, but we were quiet enough not to need one. At least I thought so. People say that there is no such thing as passion so true, but they're wrong. So very wrong. There was a tension in the air, slowly diminishing while we forced it away with every touch, every kiss, every display of affection that we had in us. Does he love me? I don't know. Do I love him? I like to think that I do, but still, I do not know the answer to that. It's better just to take life as it comes and not struggle with the future, when it's futile. And, believe me, I will definitely be taking life as it comes and enjoying every second of it.

* * *

I'm laying on my bed. Gods, I'm sore everywhere. No, I didn't lose my V-card, but we did go further than last time, and I could hardly walk without it being gap-legged, and Draco could see. Thankfully, none of the others could though.

"Hermione, did you lose your virginity last night?" Draco whispers. I give him a look and say,

"No, but I almost did. Severus wanted to-"

"Wait, you are involved with him?" Draco almost shouts. I cover his mouth.

"Shut up!" I tell him. He nods, and I let go of his mouth.

"Really, Hermione? You go, girl!" He says to me. I roll my eyes.

"Thanks, Hun, but you have GOT to keep this in the down-low, okay?" I ask him.

"Yeah, of course! When are you going to tell everyone?" Draco questions.

"Well, we haven't decided yet." I tell him. Draco sighs melodramatically.

"I think you should tell everyone at graduation! Maybe kiss him or something?" He says excitedly. I think about it. It really isn't such a bad idea.

"Well, I'll think about it, but I don't want to ask him. We might break up. After all, he is older than me, and he could have a much better girl." I say sadly. Draco gives me the sad look and says

"He'd never do that, 'Mione. I know my godfather, and when he falls in love with a girl, he never lets her go until he finds the right one. And that's what happened with you. He was in love with Lily Potter, but now that he's found you, he could never be happier. And there's also the fact that you have brought out a new him. Hermione, he used to be a cruel, evil, and melancholy man. Now that you've melted his exterior, he can be who he actually wants to be." I ponder Draco's words. I knew already that Severus loved Lily, and although I know that he doesn't love her as much anymore, it still made me a bit jealous. But, the Professor Snape that I've known for 7 years is gone, and in it's place is a new man with actual feelings, who cares for people. Well, most people.

He still pretty much hated Harry and Ron for being complete idiots who didn't follow the rules, but other than that… the pranks seemed to relax him a bit. Of course, he was still on edge because of the fact that I could prank him any time, but anyways, I think that all this was actually good for him. Now, what would the prank be? Maybe I would just give him an invitation to Sirius's Birthday party at the Whomping Willow… he wouldn't come, but it would annoy him to no end, though. I smiled and said goodbye to Draco, walking out of our Common Room and heading to Sirius's rooms. When I knocked on the door, Professor Sinistra was there, too, make-up smudged, hair a mess, and a conspicuous bruise on the side of her neck. I grinned at Sirius's dazed, but proud expression.

"If this is a bad time…." I trail off. Sinistra sighs and walks back into a room, leaving Sirius with me.

"It's not, Hermione, it'll never be a bad time. What do you need?" Sirius asks me.

"I need you to conjure up a birthday invitation to Severus at the Whomping Willow. Make about ten of them that way he thinks that I'm not bluffing, okay? We'll all meet him there, and shout surprise at him. He'll freak out on everyone except for me, but it'll be so fucking hilarious!" I say excitedly. Sirius raises an amused eyebrow at me and says,

"Wow, Hermione, you come up with the weirdest things. I'll do it soon, love." He winks at me and walks back into his rooms. I grin to myself and walk back to Pansy's room in the dungeons. We're going to sneak out of the castle and go get some drinks with the rest of our gang. I can't wait!

* * *

I'm skipping down the hall, heading towards Pansy, Millicent's, and a bunch of other Slytherin girls' room and knock on the door. A girl with blonde hair, brown eyes, and a shitty looking tattoo comes out and glares at me.

"Sorry, no Gryffindors in Slytherin rooms." I sneer at her and push her aside while she glares at me more.

"Pansy! Millicent! Let's go!" Pansy comes out dressed in black tights, a black, sheer, long-sleeved shirt, and black, lace boots. Millicent has on a pair of black high heeled boots coming up to her knees, with black spandex shorts on (ever since I've introduced them to Muggle clothing, that's all they really wear. It's actually become a trend), and a black lace shirt. I told them to dress all in black that way we looked mysterious. I was attired in black lace-up military boots with a slight wedge heel, black cashmere tank-top, and black tights with brass buttons on the sides. We all grab black, silk robes and head out, with me in the lead. All of a sudden, we hear a low, silky, and very familiar voice behind us.

"Going somewhere, ladies?" Severus Snape's baritone ask us. We all turn around very slowly, all knowing that we were in for a world of trouble.

"Er, hello Professor Snape…." I trail off, Pansy and Millicent sneaking behind me so that I'm left to deal with Severus. Great friends those Slytherins are. That was said sarcastically.

"Hello indeed, Miss Granger. Now, I will repeat myself one last time. Are you going somewhere?" I hear Pansy gulp behind me, so I take a step forward, my silk robes swirling behind me, my boots clicking softly against the stone floor.

"I could ask you the same question… _professor_." Severus glared at me while Millicent and Pansy cowered even more behind me. I mentally sigh. Slytherin girls could be such chits.

"You could, _Miss Granger_, however, I do believe I asked you first." I sneer at him.

"Well, haven't you ever heard? First is worst, Second is best. Therefore, you have to answer the best. Which would be me." I hear both of the two girls gasp behind me while Severus steps closer to me.

"If you must know, you silly chit, I was looking through the halls to see if there were any idiots, such as yourself, trying to sneak out." He smirks, but I refuse to let him win.

"Well, if YOU must know, I was merely going to show Millicent and Pansy a MALE strip club. With only _men_. No females performing." I watch in amusement as Severus's eyes darken considerably and he lets out a low growl.

"Well, Miss Granger, I'm afraid you have yet ANOTHER detention with me. What is it now? Two months and a week? It seems as though you're trying to get as many detentions." I breathe in deeply before letting it out and replying back,

"Maybe I am! It's almost like I somehow crave your presence! I think a miracle worker is in Hogwarts, because no one even really likes you!" I say sarcastically, while Severus narrows his eyes at me and slowly walks towards me, making me walk backwards in return.

"Miss Bulstrode, Miss Parkinson, both of you report to Dumbledore for attempting to sneak out of Hogwarts. He will give you your punishments along with mine. Detention with Filch tonight. Eight o'clock. Good-bye!" They both run off. Gee, some friends I have!

"Uh, Sir, I'm just gonna go and get punished by Dumbledore… so I'll just be leaving now…." I try to quickly slip away from Severus's clutch, but he grips my arm tightly and drags me over to his rooms. Shit, not again!

"I don't think so, Granger. You're lucky I don't take you over my knee for your disrespect." I gulp audibly and a million images run through my head at once. Most of them not even close to appropriate. Dammit, Snape, do you know what ya do to me?

"Well… you're lucky I don't… tell Draco that his secret crush likes him back!" I'm totally fucking lying, but who cares? Severus doesn't know that!

"Excuse me?" He nearly shouts, pulling us both into his quarters. I mentally curse. I bet you anything he's going to actually spank me. I swear he is, just to irritate me.

"Well it's true! Draco's always liked your smooth, silky baritone voice. Your rock hard chest always concealed under black, morbid robes." I say, really exaggerating what Draco said to me. It was really more like, 'He sounds like a man who choked on something to make his voice really low. And he's so skinny, that I bet his chest is hard because all it is is bones!' I was NOT going to tell Draco that Severus was actually very toned, though, and I definitely wouldn't tell Severus what Draco really said! I'm not exactly that stupid!

"Young lady, I'm not an idiot like most of your friends, so you cannot lie to me like that!" Severus glares at me, looking like he's a little grossed out.

"I actually can't, because it's the truth! How would I be lying if it happens to be the truth?" I shout at him, staring at him as if he's a dumbass. This only serves to piss him off more, though. Severus narrows his eyes at me and grabs my wrist, yanking me over to lay on his lap. Well... this isn't exactly good.

Eventually, I go back to my rooms with a very red and sore ass. Gods, never mess with Severus Snape. Never!


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey guys! I'm so so so so sorry that I haven't updated in god knows how long, but life has been difficult. Just as a fair warning, there is a sex scene in it. I tried not to make it extremely graphic, but I apologize in advance if it's bad. Well, here goes nothing!**

I'm tired. So tired. Draco forced me to get up early this morning so that he could see what I was wearing to the ball. Seriously! Couldn't he have waited for me to get up naturally? Now I have detention again with Severus and I'm more tired than ever. Also, Lavender is going to be with me because Filch got pushed down the stairs. I have no idea who did it. So, therefore ending any fun Severus and I could have. However, it's not going to end the pranks! Hmm, Perhaps I could give him the invitation to Sirius's party? Yeah, that'd be fun! However, I will just have to see how this all plays out. But, I'm not going to detention yet, since it's only, like 5:00 on this fine Sunday evening, and I'm not in the least bit hungry, considering that I've noticed my favourite jeans are fitting a bit snugly. I figured that if I lost, say, five extra pounds, I'd feel better. Therefore, I'm just going to skip a meal or two. It's not like I have a problem, though. I'm really not that hungry, and the reason my stomach's making the growlies and grumbles is because my food from lunch is digesting. Yep, sounds legit.

Anyways, to pass the time until detention and take my mind off of everything, I think I'm gonna watch this movie I found stored in my room. I was going to watch it, like, one or two years ago, but I chickened out. This movie's supposed to be good. I think it's called Black Swan, or something like that.

Anyways, it seems like a good movie. I conjured up my flat screen with Blu-ray and inserted the disk, fast-forwarding through the shitty previews. Hmm, isn't this chick, like, Natalie Portman? Yeah, I think so. Wow, this movie's actually really good! It starts out with a girl and she's an awesome dancer in ballet, or something. That's pretty much all I've got right now, though.

* * *

Oh my god. OH MY GOD! What the fuck? WHAT. THE. FUCK? I take a couple of deep breaths. Draco came in and watched the movie with me, about twenty minutes in and we both started freaking out on the girl's dance instructor. What. A. Douche! He's a pervert! Draco's sitting beside me, frozen. We turn to look at each other.

"Hermione. What was that?" He asks me very calmly. Much too calmly, in my opinion.

"Black Swan."

"I never want to see that again." He whispers, shaking. If that movie didn't gross me out so much, I would have laughed at his frightened expression. However, I was still recovering. Draco and I just stayed on my bed, slowly overcoming our obvious fear of the movie until it hit me. Detention with Snape! I only had ten minutes to get there! Well Lavender already told me what she was wearing, so I may as well wear something similar. She was wearing a tight button down shirt with Ravenclaw's emblem stitched into it as well as a blue and brown plaid skirt. It only came up to mid-thigh. And electric blue boots. All in all, she looked like I was going to look. Except for the fact that I was going to be wearing Slytherin's colours, emblem, and my skirt was going to have little mini shorts underneath, but, my skirt was going to be shorter, so take that, Lavender!

My boots are neon green, so I look the poster child for Slytherin Princess. Draco whistled at my look and decided to walk me to detention to "make sure no boy landed a finger on his 'precious little honey boo-boo child'. I laughed, but let him walk me anyways. Severus opened the door, glaring at Draco, and glaring even more when he saw my outfit. But, I thought he was going to explode when a group of sixth year Slytherins walked by and made that stupid little cat-call thing at me. Draco went and smacked them all upside the head, though, so that made Sevvie-Poo happier.

"Well, Miss Granger, you're late. Miss Brown is already in the class cleaning cauldrons. What am I to do with you, though?" I lower my voice and stare him in the eyes.

"Fuck me senseless?" I guess. His eyes widen, and I swear. I SWEAR. I could see him contemplate it until he shook his head, took my arm in his hand, and dragged me into the room. Lavender looked up and started laughing when she saw what I had on. I mean, come on, we were practically matching! Her hair was wavy, and mine was curly, her boots were wedge heeled, while mine were stiletto, but it's whatever. I walk up to her, pulling good ole Snapey along with me, and we look each other up and down. Then laugh again. Severus glares at her and shoves me into the closet, stepping in to it and slamming the door shut. However, before he does, I yell loud enough for Lavender to hear me and start laughing,

"That's not nice! Ten points from the House Of Snape!" He growls and corners me.

"You are to organize each and every one of these ingredients. By hand. Give me your wand. Now!" I quirk an eyebrow at him and hold my wand in front of his face, taking it away when he went to grab for it. Eventually he just pins me against the door and snatches it away from me.

"NO FAIR! YOU CHEATING SLYTHERIN!" I shout at him, loud enough for everyone in the dungeons to hear. Severus smirks at me, leans down, and bites me slowly yet roughly on the lower part of my neck. The bastard! He knows I won't be able to cover it up!

"Now, everyone will know that you're mine." I glare at him while he just smirks a very Slytherin smirk at me. I roll my eyes and point towards the door, indicating that he should get out. He finally does, taking my wand with him. That arsehole.

* * *

I'm SO close to finishing this! _Just a little further up, Hermione… _I tell myself, going on tiptoe, my fingers barely gracing the bat's spleen until I fell off of the ladder with a shrill shriek, falling to the hard, stone ground. I hear something crack, and feel excruciating pain before I feel Professor Snape picking me up and Lavender freaking out. Severus gently lays me on the table, before telling Lavender to go back to Gryffindor common room. She tearfully tells him to make sure that I stay alive or else she'll fucking kill him and walks off.

"Hermione. Hermione, can you hear me?" Severus's voice sounds fuzzy, distant. Almost as if he's 100 feet away and talking at a normal voice level. I try to move, but find that it just hurts too much.

"Unh, wha- happen?" I mumble out, almost incoherently. Severus still manages to understand me, though, for he answers.

"You fell off of the ladder, trying to get a potion ingredient down. You're skull is fractured and you have quite a few bruises, but consider yourself very lucky, young lady." I stare into his eyes.

"Okay, Buzz." He groans and rolls his eyes, but I know that he loves it.

"Don't call me that, love. Just because I've just healed your fractured skull doesn't mean that I'm gonna go easy on you if you irritate me." I narrow my eyes at him.

"How can you go easy on me when I can't even bloody move?" I ask him. He sighs, and just kisses me on the lips before picking me up and taking me into his room, where I go and change into a pair of his boxers and one of his silken shirts.

"This is where you're going to have to sleep tonight, since there's the fact that if anything went wrong, I'd need to be here." Uh huh. I bet he also just wants to get some, too. Ha! I'm kidding! But, then again, that would be something that he would do…. I slowly began to regain the ability to move without hurting too terribly bad, and could eventually move with only a slight pain here and there.

Therefore, I got to watch Severus emerge from the shower with a towel on, I got to watch him get dressed, even though he forced me to close my eyes, I still opened them and told him he looked fuckable. Severus's eyes widened in disbelief and he walked back to his bed and laid down on it. He was wearing only black silk boxers. My eyes widened at his… display and the bastard merely smirked. I narrowed my eyes at him before pushing him back against the mattress, putting my leg on either side of his body. He visibly gulped and I smirked, while leaning down to mark his neck as mine. Severus groans and runs his fingers along my spine, slowly inching their way down to my make-shift shorts, gently inching them off of me, leaving me in only a shirt. I blush, but keep on going, kissing him deeper and deeper until he pulls away, easily picking me up and placing me under him, while I tried to touch all of his body that I could.

Severus.

Even his name was perfect, so goddamn perfect. His eyes seek out mine and he kisses me gently. My hand lowers to his boxers and slowly brushes over his quickly tenting erection while he gasps in surprise and pleasure, and grabs a hold of me tighter and tighter until I have to break free, clutching at his waistband and yank his undershorts off, revealing his cock. I've seen a penis before, I mean, I'm not that big of a prude, but I never knew that they got this big! I mean, really! Severus sees the wide-eyed expression I have on my face and smirks.

"You like this?" I glance up quickly in shock.

"Erm… uh… I-I uh, I just uh…." I stammer, unable to form coherent sentences under his scrutiny. Severus chuckles and rips off the shirt I have on, leaving me completely naked. But then again, he is, too, so I suppose this is fair. I know that my breasts aren't exactly big, and I'm a bit insecure about it, hence the reason why I covered myself up. He didn't like that, I suppose, explaining the reason he took my arms and held them against the headboard of the bed, effectively trapping me. If I didn't know better, I would have assumed that Severus had a fetish for tying women up, but you know, it's whatever. Bondage. Cool. Everyone would have expected this from the resident Dungeon Bat, though.

"Don't hide yourself from me, Hermione. You're beautiful the way you are." I stare into his eyes and find sincerity. My mouth quirked into a half-smile and I slowly relaxed, allowing him to release me. Severus stared at my chest for so long that I began to feel nervous. Until he lowered his mouth to my right breast and lavished it with his tongue. I never knew something like this could feel so good, but somehow it does. He repeats his process to my left breast and eventually stops, nuzzling my neck. "Hermione, if you're going to back out, now's the time. I'm afraid I will not be able to stop if we are to keep going." His eyes portray anxiety, and I know that he wants this as much as I do. I'm ready for him, but not the pain.

"Severus, I am ready for you, but it'll hurt…." I tell him. He cradles my face in his hand.

"I know that the first time does hurt for just a little bit, love, but that's inevitable." I slowly nod.

"Oh… okay, but… could you go slow?" He smiles softly and nods his head. When he begins to slide his way into me, it's a bit uncomfortable, because I feel as if I'm being stretched too far out, but it's bearable. Suddenly, he stops and tells me,

"Are you ready, love?" I nod my consent and he plunges into me, taking my innocence and virtue. It hurts so badly, but I need him to keep going. He waits for a while until I tell him that I'm ready for him to move and when he does, I only feel a very slight pain, but I ignore it, for what comes next made me nearly cry out in pleasure. What I felt was… electric, beautiful. I felt like Severus was a part of me, and I was a part of him. Like we were bound to each other, or some sort. Our grunts and moans grew to a crescendo until everything erupted into whiteness. I could feel my walls clamping around him in spasms as we both reached our climax. He took my lips with his and we stayed like that, both of us trembling slightly against the other, and feeling perfect. Was this love? Well, I'm not really sure, for I don't exactly know what the fuck love is supposed to be like. But, to me, this was as close to it as I could ever get. But, tomorrow is a Monday, and even though I'm going to be so sore I can barely move, I'm still going to continue with my pranks, and he's going to like it. Well, at least, I am.


	9. Chapter 9

"Susan Bones."

"Here,"

"Lavender Brown."

"Present." Snape began calling everyone's names, because, frankly, he was too tired to do a mental head check. His heart fluttered a bit when he called out Hermione's name, but kept an expressionless composure.

"Hermione Granger." The girl's head snapped up in annoyance.

"What?!" She nearly yelled. Severus raised an eyebrow.

"A week's detention, Miss Granger." He drawled in his baritone voice, making her blush and duck her head. He silently praised himself, while focusing on his wandless magic, and creating a sign on the back of her robes. It said, 'The Team of Insufferable Know-It-Alls'. She'd kill him for it, but it was definitely worth it. She was sitting in the back, so no one would see it until she got up.

"Whatever," she muttered, loud enough for the entire classroom to hear, including Snape.

"Granger, I'd have thought that with the months of detention you have with me, you'd shut your ungodly mouth. Apparently not. Another week's detention with twenty points from Gryffindor." Severus smirked when she glared at him and the Gryffindors groaned. Yep, he still had his groove.

* * *

I continued to glare at Snape, while he sent me mildly creeping smirks. I think he's planning something. The bastard! He'd better not! My eyes stayed on him for the rest of the class. He was definitely up to something; I could tell. We were finally dismissed from class, but I was a bit reluctant to get up. For all I knew, he could've charmed my skirt to fall down, or make my clothing melt, or something even worse than that. When everyone had left, I very slowly rose from my seat and waited. Nothing happened. Hmm, that's strange, but I still need to stay on the lookout for anything strange or out of the ordinary. I may love Severus, but I certainly don't trust him. Especially when he has that 'look' on his snarky face. I need to seek out the masters; Remus and Sirius. I put on my cloak and travelled to Remus's quarters. He had a free period, because no one had to take his class at the moment.

"What is it, Hermione?" He asked me, while opening the door for me to come inside.

"I need your help." I stated. He raised his eyebrows.

"Oh?" His tone was curious and questioning. "With what, may I ask?"

"I need help pranking Severus." Remus grinned a tiny, little grin and said,

"Well, Sirius is finished with the fake invitations to his birthday party, so you can take these right here and start handing them out, make sure that Severus sees that you aren't handing them out to only him, because he'll get far too suspicious." I nodded, taking the invitations graciously.

"Thanks Lupin. I will see you later, oh, and, have yourself an invitation. By the Whomping Willow."

"I believe I can make it." He said, grinning.

"There isn't going to be a real party, is there?" I guessed. Remus shook his head no.

"Of course not! The last time anyone ever threw a good party that Severus Snape was at, they all were cursed very painfully. Never try and surprise an ex-Death Eater; they will always attempt murder when you do." He warned. I smirked. Hmm. I'll keep that little idea in mind. I thanked Remus and turned to leave.

"Er, Hermione…. I think Snape casted a charm on you…." My eyes widened in shock. What did he do?! I turned around quickly.

"What? What charm did he cast?" I asked him.

"To be honest, I don't know, but he put something on your back that says, 'The Team of Insufferable Know-It-Alls…." He trailed off. I rolled my eyes in annoyance. Great.

"Well, that's just wonderful! I don't even have an extra fucking robe, and I only have a strapless shirt underneath with my skirt. I can't just walk around Hogwarts like that!" I wailed. Remus rolled his eyes, vanished my robes, and shoved me into his office. He pulled out a robe that looked like it was made of satin. Why would he have this? He noticed my curious stare and said,

"I was in the whole, 'I think that I'm gay' stage, so I went out and bought all this stuff." He opened up a locked trunk and my eyes widened. It was filled with skinny jeans, brightly coloured converse, extremely tight shirts, and silky robes.

"Erm, Remus… I don't know whether to thank you for keeping these so that I could borrow your robes, or to smack you for actually be this stupid to buy all of this stuff." I tell him. He just laughs and hands me the black robe. I accept it oh so gracefully.

"Thanks, man. Hey, I'll see you later."

"Good-bye!" He tells me, waving as I run off. Take that, Severus. I beat you at your own fucking game! Hahahahahahaha!

* * *

"So, you really expect me to believe that there's an actual party at the Whomping Willow?" Severus asks me. I merely nod my head, hoping I don't look too stupid.

"Well, yes. It's for Sirius." He rolls his eyes.

"I'm not going."

"Why not?" I whine, tugging on his robes until they eventually came off, revealing a blue button down. Hmm. I thought he only wore neutral colours!

"Because, I despise the mongrel. Now, is that all you need to ask of me?" I nod my head dejectedly.

"Yeah. I just thought that maybe we could go together, but that's fine. I'll just go with Draco and Cormac." I began to walk away slowly before I feel his hand on my shoulder, spinning me around. He looked… well, confused, but upset, too.

"With who? Did I really just hear that pathetic little shit's name brought into this conversation?" He asked me. "Is this his robe? Is it?!" His fingers clench down on the material, but doesn't hurt me.

"Erm…. No…" He takes in a couple of deep breaths.

"Then who's is it?" I do some very quick thinking and come up with,

"Draco's!" I blurt out. Severus narrows his eyes.

"I thought he was gay?" He questioned.

"Nope! He's bisexual!" I gleam. Draco is going to kill me for this, but oh well, this is funny!

"That boy! I'm going to-" His voice cuts off for a second.

"You're going to what?" I challenge him, doubting that he'll do anything.

"Just stay away from both of those boys romantically, if you know what's good for them and you. I should have told you this from the very beginning, but I will not have you around some other… boy." He finished with a sneer. I could've laughed at the thought of having any kind of romantic interest with any one other than Severus. It was absurd! I smirked and slowly walked up to the only man I've ever loved, and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"And if I don't?" I heard his low growl in my ear and shivered.

"I'll remind you who you belong to, love." I licked my dry lips in totally not anticipation.

"Well, I'm pretty sure I don't need a reminder, thank you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get my hair coiffed by Draco." I stated properly, and walked out after giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. Severus grabbed for me, but since my reflexes are ninja-style, I totally got away without a scratch! Because I'm awesome like that.

"Granger!" He roared as I skipped out of the room. Do you really think that you're going to win? Really, Severus? Ha! Good luck with trying. May the best win, love. May the best win.

* * *

"Pst, Pansy, have an invite. Harry, here's one for you, too. Draco, take this, pass one on to Blaise." I whisper as they look at their invitations to Sirius's birthday party at the Whomping Willow.

"Miss Granger, is there something you'd like to share with the entire class?" He smirks that arrogant, little smirk that he knows I hate to love. I narrow my eyes at him. I'm so going to beat this douche at his own game.

"Well, I was giving out invitations to Professor Black's birthday party." I fluttered my eyelashes innocently, while Snape sneered at me.

"Well, I sure hope you have enough," he told me, with that smirk on his face again. I give him a smug look.

"As a matter of fact, I do!" I dig into my bag and pull out the invitations that Sirius and Remus were awesome enough to give me extras. "Invites for everyone!" I shout and throw them at my fellow students.

"My EYES! They BURN!" One student screams, when the paper hits him. I scoff. What a pussy! He should be uninvited! We don't allow cowards at awesome parties.

"Oh, shut up, you cry baby!" I shout at him, making him get angry at me, even though I was merely speaking the truth.

"GRANGER! SIT YOUR INSUFFERABLE ARSE DOWN, RIGHT NOW!" Snape yells at me. I glare at him and plop down on top of Draco, who makes an, 'oof' sound, but doesn't really care too much.

"Better?" I ask him, knowing full and well that it's definitely not better.

"Miss Granger, sit yourself in a fucking chair!" The entire class gasps at Severus's use of bad language, as do I, although I'm the one totally faking it, since I've heard him curse a whole lot, and am therefore used to it. I fold my arms like a petulant child and pout.

"No! I don't want to!" The entire class fucking gasps again, at my totally rude display of NGAF. Otherwise known as Not Giving A Fuck.

"Granger!" He sounded exasperated, meaning I've done my job well. I smirk at him and make a huge display of making myself comfortable on Draco's lap, who really didn't give a crap. I think he was touching Harry under a table. Naughty, naughty boys.

"What do you want from me?!" I yell at him. He glares at me and send a silencing hex towards me. I can't talk until Draco casts the counter spell. I send Snape a glare that practically screams, 'YOU WILL PAY!'

"Get out of my classroom, now!" I hop up and nearly sprint out of his class. I'm still laughing my ass off on the inside, though.

Eventually, Snape send all of his students out and I just walk with them. It's not like Severus would try to take revenge on me. Right? I mean, he can't do anything to potentially hurt, harm, or mar my perfect body, since the ball is in four more days! Not counting this first day, of course. Severus is going to die when he sees me! I'm going to be changing my outfit, however. Every girl is going as a bloody vampire! I need to be different!

Therefore, I'm going as Persephone, Queen of the Underworld. Severus will most likely just wear normal robes, so there's no big deal there! He'll look great as my King. I'll make sure of it. We're going to be the hottest couple there, and I'm going to make sure that I get in quite a few pranks! The boys will envy Severus, and the girls will envy me for the fact that I'm gonna look like a freaking goddess, and because I'm going to have Severus with me! I mean, come on, who wouldn't want that?


	10. Chapter 10

It's here! The ball is finally here! Oh, guess what I did to Sevvy? I poured strawberry milk all over his white shirts! Ha ha ha ha ha! I am soooo evil! The dye will never come out!

I was getting dressed and forced Draco to stop eye-fucking Harry long enough for him to put my hair up in an elaborate little bun. I made sure that a couple of strands were hanging out, because I literally live in hell as Persephone, and I should at least look the part!

Draco was going as the angel of death, and I will assure you, that he looks almost as sexy as Severus. Harry is going as the angel of life, which was obvious, but I figured I'd still tell you guys that.

"C'mon Draco! Pick Harry up and let's go!" I shouted at my gay best friend. Sure enough, Draco came out of the room with Harry in his arms. How cute.

"So, Hermione, I got this interesting letter from a certain godfather of mine…." He said, staring at me with a slightly annoyed expression. I raised my eyebrows innocently.

"What are you talking about?"

"You know what I'm talking about! Why would you tell him that I'm bisexual? I am as straight as a fucking curve and you know that!" He yelled, making Harry cringe.

"Geez, Draco, sorry! I was just trying to see what would piss him off more." I glared at him until he sighed and apologized to me. It took a long time.

"Oh great! Now we're going to be late!" Harry shouted, making both Draco and I start heading for the ballroom as quickly as we could.

Let the games begin.

"Now the Head Boy and Head Girl will have the very first dance to start off the night!" I heard Dumbledore announce to the people in the ball as they looked around for us. We burst through the doors, Draco panting because he was running with Harry, but me looking very much like a goddess. Of death. How fitting. Me and Draco joined together after he and Harry broke apart with a kiss following with Awe-ing from most of the girls.

The music came on and since both Draco and I could dance like no other, we both began circling around each other before gliding across the floor, Draco twirling and picking me up while I spun and danced around him when he wanted to do his stupid little "solo" thing.

When the dance was finished, everyone clapped. Except for Severus. Dammit, he's still angry? How? It's not like I was sexing Draco up on the dance floor or anything!

We both went our separate ways; Draco went back to Harry and I went to go find Severus. I looked for his arse all night and eventually found him destroying the rose bushes, sometimes finding the hiding spot of a couple going about their teenage ways. Severus would sneer at them and deduct fifty points from their respective houses, making them scurry off, sometimes putting their clothes back on.

I walked up to his rage-filled form, tentatively placing my hand on the small of his back.

"Severus?" I called out to him softly. He quickly spun around, pointing his wand at me before realizing who I was.

"Oh, did you finally remember me?" His voice gave away some of the hurt he felt, and I wanted to cry.

"You know damn well that I would have never forgotten about you, you grumpy arse!" I told him, placing my hands on my hips as he slowly turned his head to look at me.

"Well, it certainly didn't seem that way!" He said, ready to walk away. I grabbed his shoulder before he left and shoved him against the stone wall with roses on vines twining up the stone.

"You, Severus Snape, are a nasty piece of work, you know that?" I growled at him while he took in my costume; a long, torn, black dress with black stilettos, and my mother's black pearl ring.

Slowly, so painfully slow, he leaned in and kissed me.

"You're lovely when you're angry." He whispered in my ear. His breath was hot, in contrast to the cool air surrounding us.

"No, I'm not! My face gets all blotchy, and my hair frizzes, plus, my bossy, know-it-all voice comes out and it sounds absolutely dreadful!" I said, denying it more to myself than to him.

"I think you're beautiful." He told me, kissing my cheek. I smiled softly, and kissed his forehead.

"And I think that you are absolutely sexy." I purred, snaking my fingers through his frock coat, deftly unbuttoning his shirt. I was pretty sure that it was either white, or green.

"Not here, love. One, it's freezing. Two, we are supposed to be setting an example." I huffed and crossed my arms over my chest.

"But that's stupid!" I insisted, hiding a giggle when he took my hand and led me into the castle like we were both nervous sixth years going at it for the first time. However, we were both adults, and we both knew exactly what to do and what we were doing.

We both went down to the dungeons and into his private quarters, making sure no one followed as we shut the door and cast the silencing charm. Let the games continue.

* * *

When I woke up, I was in my Head Girl bed. Apparently, since it was a big risk, I couldn't sleep in my professor's room. Gee, I wonder why?

Today, I think I am going to sneak out to go to Hogsmeade so that I can have me a couple drinks to calm myself and my nerves down. I'm just getting sick of all the stupidity of my school. All of the kids are just simpering fools, bragging about how they got to be in a conversation with third years since they have a sibling that was a friend of the group.

The lot of them are pathetic and stupid. I don't know how long I can take it any more. I travelled out of the secret area to get to Hogsmeade, tripped, and found myself being helped up off of the ground by a pale hand with long, white fingers.

Shit. Severus.

Why would Severus be here?! My mind raced with all the possibilities, but it all boiled down to one thing. The sneaky, Slytherin bastard had realized what I was up to! FUUUUUU-

"Erm, hello Severus. What brings you here on this fine day?" I asked him, trying to look as innocent as possible, which is hard when you look like you desperately need some fucking alcohol.

"What are you doing here, little one?" He questioned me, playing the part of the completely innocent interrogator, when in reality he knew exactly why I was here. Well, he kind of did, but that's beside the point.

"Oh, you know, just gonna go to a bar. See how many table dancers are there." I lied casually, laughing inside when I saw how annoyed he was.

"Well, you aren't going to be one of them, are you?" He asked, running his hands through his hair as if it pained him to think of me with another. I smiled. He really did love me! However, I still had more pranks to play on him, so I had to practice tough love.

"Well, of course I am!" I told him in one of those 'valley-hill girl' voices. I think he eventually figured out that I was messing with him, because he smirked and led me to the Three Broomsticks, pulling out a chair for me to sit in and sitting across from me.

"So, why are you really here?" He asked me. I shrugged my shoulders.

"I just needed a stiff drink. Life is getting too tangible, and I don't like it." I explained to him, knowing that he of all people would understand what I was saying. Severus nodded his head and ordered himself a scotch and me a glass of Firewhiskey. I knew that it would burn, but I found that it was a refreshing taste, and it made me forget about my parents, at least, it did for a while.

The bartender brought over our drinks and we both began sipping at the beverage in the glasses. It burned, like I knew it would, but I really didn't care all too much. I could already feel my head getting lighter. It felt nice.

Severus could hold his liquor much better than I could, but he was also older than me and he has drank longer than me as well. When we had finished, he helped me out of my seat, on the account that I could not walk in a straight line. He apparated us to Hogwarts and got me into my room before leaving me with a soft kiss on the forehead.

"Goodnight, Hermione."

"Bonne nuit, Severus." I called back tiredly.

* * *

I woke up with a headache, but I really didn't care all too much. A simple hangover potion would work, since my hangover wasn't too bad. I got out of bed and found the potion, drinking it, and putting on some clothes before going to my classes and skipping breakfast.

I went into Snapeadoodle's class and sat down at Draco's usual desk, earning a strange look from him until everyone came in. Draco immediately noticed where I was and decided to use his 150 pounds of muscle to sit on me and make me move.

It worked.

I got out of his seat and went to my own which happened to be right beside him and Sevvy! I carefully transfigured a jack-in-the-box to look like him, winded it up, and waited, putting it on Draco's desk.

"Whoa! Cool, what is this?" He asked, putting his face close to it, getting hit in the head when the toy opened. "OW!"

"Miss Granger! What is the meaning of all this?!" Snape yelled at me. I smiled and showed it to the whole class. Everyone was afraid to laugh, but some couldn't control it. There were snickers from left to right, which irritated Severus even more.

"Why, it's a Jack-in-the Box! Only, I transfigured it to look like you, so it's a Snape-in-the Box!" I told him cheerfully. He rolled his eyes.

"Granger! Out of my class!"

I grinned and left the box on Draco's desk, skipping out of the classroom and into the hall, awaiting for the class to be over so that he could chew me out on good behaviour or whatever.

Oh, well. As long as it made him feel better about himself.


End file.
